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Handing out birthday invites at school

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lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

7224 total posts

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Handing out birthday invites at school

Apparently a little girl in my daughter's grade yesterday went around and handed out invitations to her bday party with little dog stuffed animals attached (It's some type of puppy themed party). Only a few girls in each classroom were invited (there are 6 classrooms). Is there anyone that would do something like this and why? The mom actually seems sweet but now I don't think I will ever get over thinking she is so insensitive!!! My daughter was a little sad she didn't get over it but really didn't care. Just couldn't believe the mom or the teachers would allow this! They are in 4th grade and it's a public school.

Posted 10/29/19 10:59 AM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

48592 total posts

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..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Handing out birthday invites at school

This is against the policy in my school unless you are inviting the whole class.
Yeah that is really really really not cool.
At all.
Wow

Posted 10/29/19 11:11 AM
 

anonymoususer
LIF Adult

Member since 7/08

3213 total posts

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Re: Handing out birthday invites at school

Same here

We can’t hand out invitations, the teacher puts them in the kids folders. And the teacher isn’t allowed to do that unless the whole class is invited, or all the girls or all the boys

Posted 10/29/19 11:44 AM
 

StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!

Member since 6/10

20912 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Re: Handing out birthday invites at school

Wow. That is horrible. DD mentioned to me this a.m. that she can't hand out invitations in her class anymore (we always invite the whole class), and I'm wondering if it's to prevent something like that happening.

Posted 10/29/19 11:46 AM
 

LuckyStar
LIF Adult

Member since 7/14

6019 total posts

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Handing out birthday invites at school

That kid’s parents are a$$holes. I would never.

Posted 10/29/19 11:56 AM
 

summerBaby10
let's be nice

Member since 9/07

10208 total posts

Name:
Wifey

Re: Handing out birthday invites at school

I think that's very rude & insensitive!

Posted 10/29/19 12:12 PM
 

LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!

Member since 5/05

18501 total posts

Name:
L

Re: Handing out birthday invites at school

This goes against the policy of our school district. I am going to say I had a parent call and ask why her child was not invited to my kids party. We had it at a pottery place that limited the number of kids we could invite and did not invite the whole class, nor even all of the girls in the class. I sent the invites out privately. Of course kids talk. There is nothing you can do about that.

Posted 10/29/19 12:35 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

48592 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Handing out birthday invites at school

Posted by LSP2005

This goes against the policy of our school district. I am going to say I had a parent call and ask why her child was not invited to my kids party. We had it at a pottery place that limited the number of kids we could invite and did not invite the whole class, nor even all of the girls in the class. I sent the invites out privately. Of course kids talk. There is nothing you can do about that.



Of course they will talk and you can't control that, but to do it in school is just cruel.
And the fact that the mom called you up and asked you why her kid wasn't invited? That was brass balls.
Wow.

Posted 10/29/19 12:54 PM
 

Sash
♥4Yrs Strong♥

Member since 6/08

8148 total posts

Name:
fka LIW Smara

Re: Handing out birthday invites at school

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by LSP2005

This goes against the policy of our school district. I am going to say I had a parent call and ask why her child was not invited to my kids party. We had it at a pottery place that limited the number of kids we could invite and did not invite the whole class, nor even all of the girls in the class. I sent the invites out privately. Of course kids talk. There is nothing you can do about that.



Of course they will talk and you can't control that, but to do it in school is just cruel.
And the fact that the mom called you up and asked you why her kid wasn't invited? That was brass balls.
Wow.



It's rude and what makes it worse is that there was a trinket attached to it. So even if you don't want to go, you still want to be included and get a stuffed animal.

Posted 10/29/19 2:29 PM
 

Budjeg11
LIF Adult

Member since 4/11

2537 total posts

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Handing out birthday invites at school

That sucks. I understand that by 4th grade the guest list becomes more selective but hanging that out in class to only some of the kids is not very cool. How did the birthday girl go around to all of the classrooms to hang out her invites?

Posted 10/29/19 3:08 PM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

7224 total posts

Name:

Re: Handing out birthday invites at school

Posted by Sash

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by LSP2005

This goes against the policy of our school district. I am going to say I had a parent call and ask why her child was not invited to my kids party. We had it at a pottery place that limited the number of kids we could invite and did not invite the whole class, nor even all of the girls in the class. I sent the invites out privately. Of course kids talk. There is nothing you can do about that.



Of course they will talk and you can't control that, but to do it in school is just cruel.
And the fact that the mom called you up and asked you why her kid wasn't invited? That was brass balls.
Wow.



It's rude and what makes it worse is that there was a trinket attached to it. So even if you don't want to go, you still want to be included and get a stuffed animal.



Yes, that is what they were all talking about - the little stuffed animal dog. They seemed more upset about that than the party! It's good no one seemed to care or get too upset but I just couldn't believe a parent would facilitate this....

Posted 10/29/19 4:22 PM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

7224 total posts

Name:

Re: Handing out birthday invites at school

Posted by Budjeg11

That sucks. I understand that by 4th grade the guest list becomes more selective but hanging that out in class to only some of the kids is not very cool. How did the birthday girl go around to all of the classrooms to hang out her invites?



They all hang out in the hallway/classrooms right before school starts so she just went from class to class with a bag full of invites. My daughter said when she came in to her class the teacher said "Why don't you hand them out at recess?" and she said "I only have one to hand out in this classroom" and gave it to the one girl and walked out! Chat Icon

Posted 10/29/19 4:23 PM
 

ml110
LIF Adult

Member since 1/06

5396 total posts

Name:

Handing out birthday invites at school

thats horrible!!! Chat Icon Chat Icon in our district, the rule is that if they whole class isn't invited (OR at least every boy/ girl from the class...) then the invitations won't be handed out at school. its just really poor judgement on the parents part to let her do that.... its easy enough to get in tough with teachers and get at least a phone number to get in tough with the parents of the kids they want to invited, so that they can be handed out outside of school.

Message edited 10/29/2019 5:29:52 PM.

Posted 10/29/19 5:29 PM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

7224 total posts

Name:

Re: Handing out birthday invites at school

Posted by ml110

thats horrible!!! Chat Icon Chat Icon in our district, the rule is that if they whole class isn't invited (OR at least every boy/ girl from the class...) then the invitations won't be handed out at school. its just really poor judgement on the parents part to let her do that.... its easy enough to get in tough with teachers and get at least a phone number to get in tough with the parents of the kids they want to invited, so that they can be handed out outside of school.



We have class directories and school wide directories that have 99% of the parent's primary email address and home address so this was definitely unnecessary.

Posted 10/29/19 5:33 PM
 

KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination

Member since 5/05

3370 total posts

Name:
Karen

Handing out birthday invites at school

Very rude and I would call the principal and ask the policy. I can't believe the teachers even let her hand them out. They should have sent them back home.

Posted 10/29/19 7:05 PM
 

MyBabyG
LIF Adolescent

Member since 1/15

567 total posts

Name:
Lynn

Handing out birthday invites at school

That’s horrible!!! In my district it’s either the whole class, all boys or all girls. My dd has handed them out in class being that the whole class was invited to her last party.

Posted 10/29/19 8:15 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

48592 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Handing out birthday invites at school

Posted by KarenK122

Very rude and I would call the principal and ask the policy. I can't believe the teachers even let her hand them out. They should have sent them back home.



This exactly. In this day and age I'm shocked they would allow this. Talk about fostering an environment of exclusion. 4th grade is bad enough without this!

Posted 10/29/19 8:24 PM
 

DiamondGirl
You are my I love you

Member since 7/09

18756 total posts

Name:
DiamondMama

Handing out birthday invites at school

It has happened to my son and my nephew that classmates loudly and proudly handed other kids invitations and my son and nephew were excluded. They were both young, one K one 1st and they came home very sad. We explained that everyone can't be invited but it was not nice to hand out the invitations in school. Some people are mean, clearly mean or at the very least thoughtless people are raising these kids, sucks but it's a life lesson. And honestly good thing my kid (or yours in this case) wasn't included bc anyone careless enough to do that to little kids sucks lol

Posted 10/30/19 10:57 AM
 

jamnmore
LIF Adult

Member since 6/16

988 total posts

Name:

Handing out birthday invites at school

I don't do birthday parties but realistically in life not everyone gets invited to everything. So why, in school, should everyone have to be invited. I don't really agree with the policy of having to invite the whole class. What is there are kids in the class that your child truly does not get along with? You have to invite that child if you want to distribute invites at school? When I was younger, the school would not distribute unless the whole class was invited but the child could distribute whatever they wanted. But I know I am the oddball on this one. I don't believe in all of the "inlcude eevryone" idea. That's not life.

Posted 10/30/19 11:19 AM
 

amac27
LIF Infant

Member since 8/09

363 total posts

Name:
A

Re: Handing out birthday invites at school

Posted by jamnmore

I don't do birthday parties but realistically in life not everyone gets invited to everything. So why, in school, should everyone have to be invited. I don't really agree with the policy of having to invite the whole class. What is there are kids in the class that your child truly does not get along with? You have to invite that child if you want to distribute invites at school? When I was younger, the school would not distribute unless the whole class was invited but the child could distribute whatever they wanted. But I know I am the oddball on this one. I don't believe in all of the "inlcude eevryone" idea. That's not life.



Maybe everyone does not need to be invited, but the fact that little toys were handed out made this extra cruel.

Posted 10/30/19 12:02 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

48592 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Handing out birthday invites at school

Posted by jamnmore

I don't do birthday parties but realistically in life not everyone gets invited to everything. So why, in school, should everyone have to be invited. I don't really agree with the policy of having to invite the whole class. What is there are kids in the class that your child truly does not get along with? You have to invite that child if you want to distribute invites at school? When I was younger, the school would not distribute unless the whole class was invited but the child could distribute whatever they wanted. But I know I am the oddball on this one. I don't believe in all of the "inlcude eevryone" idea. That's not life.



There is no policy of having to invite the whole class. I have never once in all my DD's years of parties invited the whole class or even all the girls. And yes, that is 100% fine.
Handing out invites in school and excluding others right in front of their faces though is not ok.
It's not kind.
That's why most schools have this policy of not handing out invites in school UNLESS you are inviting everyone.
You don't have to invite the whole class even a little.
But you also don't have to flaunt it in their faces.
It doesn't hurt to think of other's feelings. That's life too. Trying to be kind.
And it doesn't cost anything other than a few postage stamps.
We can all do with a little more niceness and thoughtfulness in this world and it's a good lesson for kids.


Message edited 10/30/2019 12:20:40 PM.

Posted 10/30/19 12:18 PM
 

nycgirl
Angels!

Member since 3/09

7718 total posts

Name:

Re: Handing out birthday invites at school

It’s super tacky and mean.

I would ask the teacher to speak to her.

And yes... excluding a few kids from the class is cruel. EVEN if your kid hates them. Invite ALL of one gender OR just a handful of besties and tell them to keep quiet.

Message edited 10/30/2019 2:10:19 PM.

Posted 10/30/19 2:07 PM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

7224 total posts

Name:

Re: Handing out birthday invites at school

Posted by jamnmore

I don't do birthday parties but realistically in life not everyone gets invited to everything. So why, in school, should everyone have to be invited. I don't really agree with the policy of having to invite the whole class. What is there are kids in the class that your child truly does not get along with? You have to invite that child if you want to distribute invites at school? When I was younger, the school would not distribute unless the whole class was invited but the child could distribute whatever they wanted. But I know I am the oddball on this one. I don't believe in all of the "inlcude eevryone" idea. That's not life.



I don't think anyone on here said they expected everyone to get invited. But if you aren't inviting everyone maybe take the extra time to drop off the invitations at the children's homes, mail them, or simply send an evite. Any adult who can't take into consideration the feelings of a 9 year old little girls is kind of an a** hole.

Posted 10/30/19 5:18 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

48592 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Handing out birthday invites at school

Posted by lululu

Posted by jamnmore

I don't do birthday parties but realistically in life not everyone gets invited to everything. So why, in school, should everyone have to be invited. I don't really agree with the policy of having to invite the whole class. What is there are kids in the class that your child truly does not get along with? You have to invite that child if you want to distribute invites at school? When I was younger, the school would not distribute unless the whole class was invited but the child could distribute whatever they wanted. But I know I am the oddball on this one. I don't believe in all of the "inlcude eevryone" idea. That's not life.



I don't think anyone on here said they expected everyone to get invited. But if you aren't inviting everyone maybe take the extra time to drop off the invitations at the children's homes, mail them, or simply send an evite. Any adult who can't take into consideration the feelings of a 9 year old little girls is kind of an a** hole.




Yep!Chat Icon

Posted 10/30/19 6:11 PM
 

ap123
LIF Infant

Member since 10/10

221 total posts

Name:

Re: Handing out birthday invites at school

Message edited 10/30/2019 6:56:06 PM.

Posted 10/30/19 6:39 PM
 
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