FTWM...I don't know if I can do this!

I feel awful even complaining about this but I am having a really hard time with it. Maybe a little perspective will help a little.

I work from home and have a full time nanny in my home. I work upstairs and they are downstairs.

I have only been back at work for a week and a half but I am hating every moment of this. I know how fortunate I am but I am listening to her cry and it's breaking my heart. I keep thinking if she (the nanny) would only hold her this way, or do this or....UGH!!

I also hear her crying a lot more than usual. I know my DD can be a difficult baby but once you figure her out you pretty much know what she wants. So please tell me this is my nanny just figuring her out? When I had a babysitter here a few hours a week while I was on maternity leave my DD was never hysterical for more than a few moments and then fine...so it just makes me think. I went downstairs to grab lunch and she was hysterical. The nanny asked what do i think is wrong and I said when did she last eat. She said 2.5hrs ago...I said she's probably hungry. I said the 3 hour schedule is flexible if she seems hungry. What would she have done if I wasn't there? Let her cry for another 30 minutes until it was 3 hours?

Im just frustrated and having a hard time having someone else care for her while I am steps away. I am not sure if I am questioning this nanny or me not doing it myself. This working from home seems great but it's really driving me crazy and pulling on my heart strings. When I talk to my DH about it he tells me to quit my job and stay home with her....I know this is what he really wants. I want both and thought I could do it. I never thought I would even consider leaving my job but listening to her cry hysterically right now makes me want to call right now and end this madness.

Thanks for listening

Message edited 3/8/2011 1:23:31 PM.

Re: FTWM...I don't know if I can do this!

it took DS' babysitter about 2 weeks to "get" him. Hang in there, mama, you wouldn't be working if it didn't benefit your family in the long run. I know how hard it is - Chin up!

Re: FTWM...I don't know if I can do this!

oh honey!! I hope it gets better for you.

my "nanny" (MIL ) is live in and I have the HARDEST time letting her do her thing when she is taking care of him while I am doing what I need to do.

it's just a mom thing. we know how to soothe them fastest/best, or in the very least, want to be the ones doing it.

Re: FTWM...I don't know if I can do this!

Hang in there! It is definitely difficult to let someone else take care of our little ones, especially when it's a situation like yours where you can hear what is going on. I think you need to give it a little bit more time, both for the nanny and yourself.

Re: FTWM...I don't know if I can do this!

I am not exactly in the same situation but I will tell you my experience- I bring my ds to a center that is about 3 blocks from my office. The first 2 weeks, I went everyday and I'd say probably 50% of those times he was crying and it absolutely killed me- I thought about taking him out of there and getting a nanny but we really can't afford that... So I waited it out and here we are 4 weeks later and while I still go almost every day they have figured him out and he is happy when I go.

I think you have to give her a chance. If you can take the time, maybe take a day off and really train her the whole day on your dd's schedule.

and then I think you need to invest in some really good sound proof ear phones so you can do your job!

hang in there, it will get better