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"fall babies" entering K

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itsbabytime
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Me

Re: "fall babies" entering K

......

Message edited 3/20/2016 9:33:23 PM.

Posted 2/29/16 7:03 AM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

7168 total posts

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Re: "fall babies" entering K

Personally I feel like the cutoff in NY is too early. Almost every state in the country has an earlier cutoff date than NY. Here is the data for 2015:

Jul. 31 – Hawaii (effective 2014-15), Missouri, Nebraska, North Dakota
Aug. 1 – Arkansas, Indiana
Aug. 15 – Tennessee (effective 2014-15)
Aug. 31 – Arizona, Delaware, Kansas, New Mexico, North Carolina, Washington
Sept. 1 – Alabama, Alaska, California (effective 2014-15), Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Maryland, Minnesota, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, Utah, West Virginia, Wisconsin (19 states)
Sept. 10 – Montana
Sept. 15 – Iowa, Wyoming
Sept. 30 – District of Columbia, Louisiana, Nevada, Virginia
Oct. 1 – Colorado, Kentucky (Aug. 1 in 2017-18), Michigan (effective 2014-2015)
Oct. 15 – Maine
Jan. 1 (of the school year) – Connecticut
Local education agencies decide (the state may set a date range) – Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Vermont

If NY moved the cutoff to Sept 1 which is much more reasonable, if you ask me (that way the child is actually 5 when they start kindergarten) I think you would find that a lot less people would hold their kids back. But ultimately you have to do what is best for YOUR child and the reason why the rules on this are not set in stone is because every child is different.


Posted 2/29/16 8:15 AM
 

Sash
♥4Yrs Strong♥

Member since 6/08

8002 total posts

Name:
fka LIW Smara

Re: "fall babies" entering K

I believe that all this holding back for kids that make the cutoff is related to the increase in kids being labeled as ADD/ADHD. Boys have to complete with kids that are so much older than them when they are in their right grade. I find that unfair.

So now my 7 years old who is smart enough to for second grade has to also act like an 8 almost 9 year old.


I didn't hold my Ocotber baby back, he is in 2nd grade. My stepson was an October baby made the cutoff and had to repeat Kindergarten. He was later diagnosed with ADHD. I still don't agree with holding back. However, I can see why moms of winter babies will do it. I don't understand the logic of why a summer baby would get held back and haven't seen a good explanation on this thread.

I just hate terms like advantage and good in sports for red shirting. I'm sorry but kids are either good at sports or not. A year advantage isn't going to turn your kid into Derek Jeter. My son isn't going to be an athlete, even if I waited a year he would still suck at sports.

I also agree with Hofstra that Kindergarten may be a bit more challenging than it was, but I think parents are really so dramatic. It's not that crazy and this is coming from a parents whose kids school follows the NJ state curriculum in addition to the Archdiocese, so they get more work.

Message edited 2/29/2016 8:41:46 AM.

Posted 2/29/16 8:35 AM
 

Sash
♥4Yrs Strong♥

Member since 6/08

8002 total posts

Name:
fka LIW Smara

Re: "fall babies" entering K

Posted by MegZee

I know you think you are giving YOUR kid an advantage, but also possibly at the sake of the disadvantage of a 4 year old starting on time. Like my DD who has a late October birthday and I had to wipe her tears today bc "everyone is losing teeth and I'm not because I'm the baby in the clas". It's hard to explain to her why her friends were turning 6 when she was still 4.




Your DD may just have good teeth. My son who is an October baby didn't lose his first tooth till a few weeks ago at 7, in the 2nd grade. Even if I held him back he would haven't lost his teeth till first grade. While all his younger cousins and cousins the same age lost several teeth already. Just giving you a heads up she may not lose them anytime soon.Chat Icon

Posted 2/29/16 8:40 AM
 

Hofstra26
Take Me To Disney!

Member since 7/06

24191 total posts

Name:
Kristen

Re: "fall babies" entering K

Posted by lululu

Personally I feel like the cutoff in NY is too early. Almost every state in the country has an earlier cutoff date than NY. Here is the data for 2015:

Jul. 31 – Hawaii (effective 2014-15), Missouri, Nebraska, North Dakota
Aug. 1 – Arkansas, Indiana
Aug. 15 – Tennessee (effective 2014-15)
Aug. 31 – Arizona, Delaware, Kansas, New Mexico, North Carolina, Washington
Sept. 1 – Alabama, Alaska, California (effective 2014-15), Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Maryland, Minnesota, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, Utah, West Virginia, Wisconsin (19 states)
Sept. 10 – Montana
Sept. 15 – Iowa, Wyoming
Sept. 30 – District of Columbia, Louisiana, Nevada, Virginia
Oct. 1 – Colorado, Kentucky (Aug. 1 in 2017-18), Michigan (effective 2014-2015)
Oct. 15 – Maine
Jan. 1 (of the school year) – Connecticut
Local education agencies decide (the state may set a date range) – Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Vermont

If NY moved the cutoff to Sept 1 which is much more reasonable, if you ask me (that way the child is actually 5 when they start kindergarten) I think you would find that a lot less people would hold their kids back. But ultimately you have to do what is best for YOUR child and the reason why the rules on this are not set in stone is because every child is different.





Honestly, I'm SO thankful the cutoff here in NY isn't Sept. 1st..............my DD was born on Sept. 19th and if I had to wait another year so that she was 6 when she started she would've been SO miserable in Kindergarten. She might've been only 4 when she started but she was SO ready for school both emotionally and academically. If I was forced to hold her off another year she would've been bored to tears in Kindergarten. Sept. 1st (and before) is too early of a cutoff IMO.

Posted 2/29/16 8:49 AM
 

Hofstra26
Take Me To Disney!

Member since 7/06

24191 total posts

Name:
Kristen

Re: "fall babies" entering K

Posted by Sash

I believe that all this holding back for kids that make the cutoff is related to the increase in kids being labeled as ADD/ADHD. Boys have to complete with kids that are so much older than them when they are in their right grade. I find that unfair.

So now my 7 years old who is smart enough to for second grade has to also act like an 8 almost 9 year old.


I didn't hold my Ocotber baby back, he is in 2nd grade. My stepson was an October baby made the cutoff and had to repeat Kindergarten. He was later diagnosed with ADHD. I still don't agree with holding back. However, I can see why moms of winter babies will do it. I don't understand the logic of why a summer baby would get held back and haven't seen a good explanation on this thread.

I just hate terms like advantage and good in sports for red shirting. I'm sorry but kids are either good at sports or not. A year advantage isn't going to turn your kid into Derek Jeter. My son isn't going to be an athlete, even if I waited a year he would still suck at sports.

I also agree with Hofstra that Kindergarten may be a bit more challenging than it was, but I think parents are really so dramatic. It's not that crazy and this is coming from a parents whose kids school follows the NJ state curriculum in addition to the Archdiocese, so they get more work.



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Posted 2/29/16 8:49 AM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

7168 total posts

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Re: "fall babies" entering K

I'm not going to quote but as for kindergarten now compared to when we were young, it is totally different. I am not sure how anyone could say it's not.

When I was in kindergarten it was half day, we had nap time, and we spent most of the time learning letters and numbers. We didn't get any homework. Kindergarten now is full day, no rest time, my daughter gets 20 minute recess and 20 minutes at the end of the day for play time. She was expected to know all of her letters and numbers before entering K so that they could start learning to read and start doing basic math. She also gets about 5 worksheets a night for homework. That was first grade when we were growing up. There is no disputing that kindergarten today is definitely a lot different than when we were all growing up (unless I am dating myself and you are all in your early 20s!).

That being said, I think that the majority of 5 year olds are capable of handling the workload of Kindergarten, but NY has a very late cutoff compared to the rest of the country. In these early years a few months does make a difference. I firmly believe NY needs to change the cutoff.

BTW this is coming from the mother of an Aug 28 (which in the majority of the country would have been 2 days from the cutoff) who did not hold their child.

Posted 2/29/16 8:53 AM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

7168 total posts

Name:

Re: "fall babies" entering K

Posted by Sash

Posted by MegZee

I know you think you are giving YOUR kid an advantage, but also possibly at the sake of the disadvantage of a 4 year old starting on time. Like my DD who has a late October birthday and I had to wipe her tears today bc "everyone is losing teeth and I'm not because I'm the baby in the clas". It's hard to explain to her why her friends were turning 6 when she was still 4.




Your DD may just have good teeth. My son who is an October baby didn't lose his first tooth till a few weeks ago at 7, in the 2nd grade. Even if I held him back he would haven't lost his teeth till first grade. While all his younger cousins and cousins the same age lost several teeth already. Just giving you a heads up she may not lose them anytime soon.Chat Icon



My son is a January baby and didn't lose his first tooth until he was almost 8. Everyone loses teeth at different points. I don't think that has anything to do with parents holding their kids or not since my son was one of the oldest with all of his baby teeth until well into second grade!

Posted 2/29/16 8:58 AM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

7168 total posts

Name:

Re: "fall babies" entering K

Posted by Hofstra26

Honestly, I'm SO thankful the cutoff here in NY isn't Sept. 1st..............my DD was born on Sept. 19th and if I had to wait another year so that she was 6 when she started she would've been SO miserable in Kindergarten. She might've been only 4 when she started but she was SO ready for school both emotionally and academically. If I was forced to hold her off another year she would've been bored to tears in Kindergarten. Sept. 1st (and before) is too early of a cutoff IMO.



But that's your daughter. My Aug. 28th daughter really could have used an extra year. Every kid is different. Personally I would much rather it go back to the way it used to be where if you thought your child was ready before the cutoff you could have them test into the appropriate grade. No body ever skips a grade any more and when we were kids people skipped grades all the time! I would much rather allow kids to skip a grade than have kids struggle to keep up.

Message edited 2/29/2016 9:07:33 AM.

Posted 2/29/16 9:02 AM
 

WonderLady
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Member since 1/15

355 total posts

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Re: "fall babies" entering K

Posted by Sash

I believe that all this holding back for kids that make the cutoff is related to the increase in kids being labeled as ADD/ADHD. Boys have to complete with kids that are so much older than them when they are in their right grade. I find that unfair.

So now my 7 years old who is smart enough to for second grade has to also act like an 8 almost 9 year old.


I didn't hold my Ocotber baby back, he is in 2nd grade. My stepson was an October baby made the cutoff and had to repeat Kindergarten. He was later diagnosed with ADHD. I still don't agree with holding back. However, I can see why moms of winter babies will do it. I don't understand the logic of why a summer baby would get held back and haven't seen a good explanation on this thread.

I just hate terms like advantage and good in sports for red shirting. I'm sorry but kids are either good at sports or not. A year advantage isn't going to turn your kid into Derek Jeter. My son isn't going to be an athlete, even if I waited a year he would still suck at sports.

I also agree with Hofstra that Kindergarten may be a bit more challenging than it was, but I think parents are really so dramatic. It's not that crazy and this is coming from a parents whose kids school follows the NJ state curriculum in addition to the Archdiocese, so they get more work.



But I don't really get it. There is still an oldest and a youngest. Most kids are going to nursery and prek anyway, so it's not about starting school later in general. My kid will always be the youngest, period. For a few years that might show and then it just fades away like it never existed. The cutoff is arbitrary.

Posted 2/29/16 9:11 AM
 

Hofstra26
Take Me To Disney!

Member since 7/06

24191 total posts

Name:
Kristen

Re: "fall babies" entering K

Posted by lululu

I'm not going to quote but as for kindergarten now compared to when we were young, it is totally different. I am not sure how anyone could say it's not.

When I was in kindergarten it was half day, we had nap time, and we spent most of the time learning letters and numbers. We didn't get any homework. Kindergarten now is full day, no rest time, my daughter gets 20 minute recess and 20 minutes at the end of the day for play time. She was expected to know all of her letters and numbers before entering K so that they could start learning to read and start doing basic math. She also gets about 5 worksheets a night for homework. That was first grade when we were growing up. There is no disputing that kindergarten today is definitely a lot different than when we were all growing up (unless I am dating myself and you are all in your early 20s!).

That being said, I think that the majority of 5 year olds are capable of handling the workload of Kindergarten, but NY has a very late cutoff compared to the rest of the country. In these early years a few months does make a difference. I firmly believe NY needs to change the cutoff.

BTW this is coming from the mother of an Aug 28 (which in the majority of the country would have been 2 days from the cutoff) who did not hold their child.



It's different but it's not INSANE like some parents make it out to be. And I had the same experience as you in Kindergarten (I'm 40 Chat Icon ) however, I still think people make a way bigger deal about what's expected in Kindergarten then they need to. And while it's beneficial to go in knowing letters and numbers (which most kids know anyway by the age) they STILL teach letters and letter sounds ALL YEAR, they STILL teach numbers and counting, they STILL teach color recognition. The biggest difference from back in our day was they start teaching them to read at an earlier age which isn't a bad thing IMO. I actually think Kindergarten was way too laid back and easy when we were kids, it was almost a pointless waste of a year.

The problem with holding kids back is that having that whole extra year home won't necessarily make them more ready for Kindergarten it could also have a negative impact in that Kindergarten work and activities will seem baby'ish, boring, and below them by the time they start school. I feel strongly that it's better to let the younger ones just start school and at worse, repeat the grade rather then just assuming they can't handle the workload. Every kid is different, I get that, but if parents are going to start taking it upon themselves to decide when their kids will start school despite the cutoffs so that we have 4 yr olds in the same classroom as 6 yr olds then we're going to create a lot of other issues within the class. JMO.

Posted 2/29/16 9:16 AM
 

Hofstra26
Take Me To Disney!

Member since 7/06

24191 total posts

Name:
Kristen

Re: "fall babies" entering K

Posted by lululu

Posted by Hofstra26

Honestly, I'm SO thankful the cutoff here in NY isn't Sept. 1st..............my DD was born on Sept. 19th and if I had to wait another year so that she was 6 when she started she would've been SO miserable in Kindergarten. She might've been only 4 when she started but she was SO ready for school both emotionally and academically. If I was forced to hold her off another year she would've been bored to tears in Kindergarten. Sept. 1st (and before) is too early of a cutoff IMO.



But that's your daughter. My Aug. 28th daughter really could have used an extra year. Every kid is different. Personally I would much rather it go back to the way it used to be where if you thought your child was ready before the cutoff you could have them test into the appropriate grade. No body ever skips a grade any more and when we were kids people skipped grades all the time! I would much rather allow kids to skip a grade than have kids struggle to keep up.



I've literally NEVER heard of kids skipping grades and I'm 40 (and grew up on LI) so it's not like I was in school yesterday. The kids who I started school with in Kindergarten were the kids I graduated HS with, nobody skipped ahead grades. Ever.

Posted 2/29/16 9:19 AM
 

Sash
♥4Yrs Strong♥

Member since 6/08

8002 total posts

Name:
fka LIW Smara

Re: "fall babies" entering K

Posted by WonderLady

Posted by Sash

I believe that all this holding back for kids that make the cutoff is related to the increase in kids being labeled as ADD/ADHD. Boys have to complete with kids that are so much older than them when they are in their right grade. I find that unfair.

So now my 7 years old who is smart enough to for second grade has to also act like an 8 almost 9 year old.


I didn't hold my Ocotber baby back, he is in 2nd grade. My stepson was an October baby made the cutoff and had to repeat Kindergarten. He was later diagnosed with ADHD. I still don't agree with holding back. However, I can see why moms of winter babies will do it. I don't understand the logic of why a summer baby would get held back and haven't seen a good explanation on this thread.

I just hate terms like advantage and good in sports for red shirting. I'm sorry but kids are either good at sports or not. A year advantage isn't going to turn your kid into Derek Jeter. My son isn't going to be an athlete, even if I waited a year he would still suck at sports.

I also agree with Hofstra that Kindergarten may be a bit more challenging than it was, but I think parents are really so dramatic. It's not that crazy and this is coming from a parents whose kids school follows the NJ state curriculum in addition to the Archdiocese, so they get more work.



But I don't really get it. There is still an oldest and a youngest. Most kids are going to nursery and prek anyway, so it's not about starting school later in general. My kid will always be the youngest, period. For a few years that might show and then it just fades away like it never existed. The cutoff is arbitrary.



It's about the age gap.. So instead of a July kid starting at 5 he/she is starting at 6. There is a huge different between a July 5yr old and July 6yr old, especially with boys. Idc about my son being the youngest, hence, why he started a month shy of his 5th birthday.

Message edited 2/29/2016 9:25:46 AM.

Posted 2/29/16 9:24 AM
 

Sash
♥4Yrs Strong♥

Member since 6/08

8002 total posts

Name:
fka LIW Smara

Re: "fall babies" entering K

Posted by lululu

I'm not going to quote but as for kindergarten now compared to when we were young, it is totally different. I am not sure how anyone could say it's not.

When I was in kindergarten it was half day, we had nap time, and we spent most of the time learning letters and numbers. We didn't get any homework. Kindergarten now is full day, no rest time, my daughter gets 20 minute recess and 20 minutes at the end of the day for play time. She was expected to know all of her letters and numbers before entering K so that they could start learning to read and start doing basic math. She also gets about 5 worksheets a night for homework. That was first grade when we were growing up. There is no disputing that kindergarten today is definitely a lot different than when we were all growing up (unless I am dating myself and you are all in your early 20s!).

That being said, I think that the majority of 5 year olds are capable of handling the workload of Kindergarten, but NY has a very late cutoff compared to the rest of the country. In these early years a few months does make a difference. I firmly believe NY needs to change the cutoff.

BTW this is coming from the mother of an Aug 28 (which in the majority of the country would have been 2 days from the cutoff) who did not hold their child.



See when I went to Kidnergarten it was full days and I never napped in school. Didn't even know nap time existed in school. I only heard of half day kindergarten when I joined this site. I also remember learning arithmetic as well. And I am talking Bushwick public schools in the 80s, not awesome school districts.

Message edited 2/29/2016 9:31:41 AM.

Posted 2/29/16 9:31 AM
 

2BadSoSad
LIF Adult

Member since 8/12

6783 total posts

Name:

Re: "fall babies" entering K

I don't think it matters when the cutoff is bc you are still going to have parents who hold back their kids for no good reason. I don't think this is a case of "do whats best for your child, every child is different" (unless there is a special need, I am NOT talking about that). Yes, every child IS different. Thats life, sometimes you have to work harder than others, sometimes you have to struggle a little, sometimes there are kids smarter than you, THATS LIFE. You are not doing anyone a service by making life easier for them, when instead they should learn that maybe they have to work harder. Thats life. Maybe Im old school, but there is always going to be the youngest, the least athletic, the least mature, the smartest, the kid who has to work harder. Tough. Its inappropriate to have a child halfway to seven in a class with four year olds. And seriously, K is not THAT hard. We attend one of the best districts on the island, they still teach letters and numbers. They still play. And HW is like, write the letter A and read with your parents for 10 minutes. There is no nap time, but back in the early 80s, I didn't have nap time either AND I had full day K. Hell, my daughter is in pre-k and doesn't have nap time.

I just don't buy that there is suddenly this generation of kids who aren't ready to start K when generations before them had NO problem. (again, its still K, they aren't doing calculus). More often than not, I think this is helicopter parent driven, and not child need based.

Additionally, I just don't understand why you would want your child who is 1.5 years older than the kids starting to be in a class with 4 year olds. Honestly, I think it would be socially awkward as well. I personally, probably wouldn't have them over for playdates, being that a 4 year old and 6 year old are VASTLY different developmentally and socially and play VERY differently.

Also, K isn't mandatory, so what I think should happen is if a parent feels their child isn't ready for school, fine, skip district K, do private K or another year of pre-K and then start them with their peers in 1st grade.

Message edited 2/29/2016 11:41:05 AM.

Posted 2/29/16 10:06 AM
 

Hofstra26
Take Me To Disney!

Member since 7/06

24191 total posts

Name:
Kristen

Re: "fall babies" entering K

Posted by 2BadSoSad

I don't think it matters when the cutoff is bc you are still going to have parents who hold back their kids for no good reason. I don't think this is a case of "do whats best for your child, every child is different" (unless there is a special need, I am NOT talking about that). Yes, every child IS different. Thats life, sometimes you have to work harder than others, sometimes you have to struggle a little, sometimes there are kids smarter than you, THATS LIFE. You are not doing anyone a service by making life easier for them, when instead they should learn that maybe they have to work harder. Thats life. Maybe Im old school, but there is always going to be the youngest, the least athletic, the least mature, the smartest, the kid who has to work harder. Tough. Its inappropriate to have a child halfway to seven in a class with four year olds. And seriously, K is not THAT hard. We attend one of the best districts on the island, they still teach letters and numbers. They still play. And HW is like, write the letter A and read with your parents for 10 minutes. There is no nap time, but back in the early 80s, I didn't have nap time either AND I had full day K. Hell, my daughter is in pre-k and doesn't have nap time.

I just don't buy that there is suddenly this generation of kids who aren't ready to start K when generations before them had NO problem. (again, its still K, they aren't doing calculus). I think this is parent driven, and not child.

Additionally, I just don't understand why you would want your child who is 1.5 years older than the kids starting to be in a class with 4 year olds. Honestly, I think it would be socially awkward as well. I personally, probably wouldn't have them over for playdates, being that a 4 year old and 6 year old are VASTLY different developmentally and socially and play VERY differently.

Also, K isn't mandatory, so what I think should happen is if a parent feels their child isn't ready for school, fine, skip K and then start them with their peers in 1st grade.



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Posted 2/29/16 11:32 AM
 

JDandMe
LIF Adult

Member since 9/10

950 total posts

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Re: "fall babies" entering K

Posted by 2BadSoSad

I don't think it matters when the cutoff is bc you are still going to have parents who hold back their kids for no good reason. I don't think this is a case of "do whats best for your child, every child is different" (unless there is a special need, I am NOT talking about that). Yes, every child IS different. Thats life, sometimes you have to work harder than others, sometimes you have to struggle a little, sometimes there are kids smarter than you, THATS LIFE. You are not doing anyone a service by making life easier for them, when instead they should learn that maybe they have to work harder. Thats life. Maybe Im old school, but there is always going to be the youngest, the least athletic, the least mature, the smartest, the kid who has to work harder. Tough. Its inappropriate to have a child halfway to seven in a class with four year olds. And seriously, K is not THAT hard. We attend one of the best districts on the island, they still teach letters and numbers. They still play. And HW is like, write the letter A and read with your parents for 10 minutes. There is no nap time, but back in the early 80s, I didn't have nap time either AND I had full day K. Hell, my daughter is in pre-k and doesn't have nap time.

I just don't buy that there is suddenly this generation of kids who aren't ready to start K when generations before them had NO problem. (again, its still K, they aren't doing calculus). More often than not, I think this is helicopter parent driven, and not child need based.

Additionally, I just don't understand why you would want your child who is 1.5 years older than the kids starting to be in a class with 4 year olds. Honestly, I think it would be socially awkward as well. I personally, probably wouldn't have them over for playdates, being that a 4 year old and 6 year old are VASTLY different developmentally and socially and play VERY differently.

Also, K isn't mandatory, so what I think should happen is if a parent feels their child isn't ready for school, fine, skip district K, do private K or another year of pre-K and then start them with their peers in 1st grade.



Well said!


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Posted 2/29/16 12:02 PM
 

2BadSoSad
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6783 total posts

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Re: "fall babies" entering K

This is how we are ending up with a new generation like that Yelp employee that just went viral.

My son plays football, he is the youngest and the smallest on his team (and in his age group for the league) bc he is a late birthday. You know what, sometimes he gets his ASS kicked. He's a great athlete, but when it comes to football he isn't the best player on the team, it doesn't come as easy to him as other sports, and he is often on the sideline waiting to be subbed. Last season, there was one game he wasn't put in AT ALL. I didn't go to the coach and complain. So yeah, he struggles at football to be AS good as everyone else bc he IS the youngest and smallest. Football is about winning, its not like little league where everyone gets a turn. So if they coach needs the biggest and the strongest to win a game, thats who gets played. Was he upset he didn't get to play that game, sure was. But instead of moving him to the younger league or complaining to the coach for him, we sat him down, put the onus on him and told him it just means he is going to have to work that much harder. There isn't anything he can do about playing with older, bigger, stronger kids, expect work hard and improve the skills he does have and learn to use those to his advantage. We buckled down with him and told him football is HARD, its the hardest sport out there and you have to be willing to be knocked down and work that much harder to get back up. We bought him all the equipment he could need and PRACTICED every single day. He is learning to play to his strengths - being that he is small, he is way more agile and quick - but sometimes, if he's on the line, he literally gets his ass kicked and is laid out in .02 seconds. Thats life. He gets back up and tries harder. there are valuable lessons to be taught and learned when you have to work hard for something.

Not everything is going to come easy, I think its FAR more valuable to learn to buckle down, deal with challenges, learn to rise above them and deal with struggles, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and work hard. Kids need to learn that things will not always come easy and sometimes you have to work extra hard

Message edited 2/29/2016 12:26:53 PM.

Posted 2/29/16 12:13 PM
 

teachermom
LIF Adolescent

Member since 8/11

843 total posts

Name:

Re: "fall babies" entering K

Posted by 2BadSoSad

Posted by teachermom

Posted by 2BadSoSad

Posted by WonderLady

I have a child born near xmas in nyc. To think there could potentially be children in his class that are nearly 18 months older than him is just silly and imo developmentally inappropriate. A line needs to be drawn.



exactly, my 4 year old should NOT be in a class with a child who is closer to SEVEN years old. No way. I have a serious problem with that.



I was told by the school district that kids must be in school by 6. There really is no way to make everyone happy. I personally believe we are pushing kids in to school too early. If a child in another state that has the same birthday as my daughter, why should she have to start school and he not? I personally believe we push kids into school too early and my husband and I are both teachers.



That's great in other states, but that's not the case here in NY so it's a moot point. As it stands here my 4 year old, who had started school when he should have was in K with kids closer to SEVEN. That, to me, is NOT OK AT ALL and it's inappropriate. Regardless of how people "feel" about when kids are set to start school, until/if that changes, it is what it is for now, regardless. 4 year olds and almost seven year olds should NOT be in class together. Its a disservice to the older child as well, who has to spend the day which children MUCH younger than them developmentally.

For the record, my DH is a teacher.



Yes we all know you disagree. You've only said it 75 times.

Posted 2/29/16 12:44 PM
 

2BadSoSad
LIF Adult

Member since 8/12

6783 total posts

Name:

Re: "fall babies" entering K

Posted by teachermom

Posted by 2BadSoSad

Posted by teachermom

Posted by 2BadSoSad

Posted by WonderLady

I have a child born near xmas in nyc. To think there could potentially be children in his class that are nearly 18 months older than him is just silly and imo developmentally inappropriate. A line needs to be drawn.



exactly, my 4 year old should NOT be in a class with a child who is closer to SEVEN years old. No way. I have a serious problem with that.



I was told by the school district that kids must be in school by 6. There really is no way to make everyone happy. I personally believe we are pushing kids in to school too early. If a child in another state that has the same birthday as my daughter, why should she have to start school and he not? I personally believe we push kids into school too early and my husband and I are both teachers.



That's great in other states, but that's not the case here in NY so it's a moot point. As it stands here my 4 year old, who had started school when he should have was in K with kids closer to SEVEN. That, to me, is NOT OK AT ALL and it's inappropriate. Regardless of how people "feel" about when kids are set to start school, until/if that changes, it is what it is for now, regardless. 4 year olds and almost seven year olds should NOT be in class together. Its a disservice to the older child as well, who has to spend the day which children MUCH younger than them developmentally.

For the record, my DH is a teacher.



Yes we all know you disagree. You've only said it 75 times.



Sorry, you replied to me with a question, so I replied to you and answered said question. That's how this works.

Message edited 2/29/2016 12:51:12 PM.

Posted 2/29/16 12:50 PM
 

Kissy331
My two miracles!

Member since 5/06

17826 total posts

Name:
Kristen

Re: "fall babies" entering K

Posted by itsbabytime

I don't want to add to the already long quotes but this thread is down right disturbing. I almost feel like I am in the twilight zone that the parents of a July child (a very bright one as noted), coming from a "family of educators" no less would think that holding a child back to start Kindergarten potentially 17 months older than his or her peers is something perfectly acceptable and mainstream! The world we live in today in downright scary. Any teacher can tell you that a 17 month age difference in a classroom is completely unacceptable for ALL the students. I have seen that there has been talk in some states (I believe CT) to end this insanity. Hopefully all states will follow suit.

Don't try to tell me that this is done for any other reason than a selfish almost pathetic parental motivation (talking about the case of July,Aug, Sept babies that are smart with no disability or issues)! Even with Oct., Nov. issues it is debatable but, honestly, what choice do they have when there are nuts holding back summer babies! Who would want to send their child into a classroom with kids almost 1.5 years older! There is another name for redshirting and it is HOLDING BACK. Because, that is exactly what you are doing - holding back your child from growing, maturing and learning for an entire year. If you have a bright child IMO this is abuse. The child should be allowed to learn and grow on a developmentally appropriate curve and instead you are halting their development in all ways - putting your child in essence, in a class with a bunch of babies, halting their learning and social development for a year just so your child can artificially appear to shine amongst the rest as ANY child a year older would do. There are NUMEROUS studies that show that redshirting is actually dangerous in the long run.

To answer the original post my child started Kindergarten when he was supposed to. He was bored as it was and how could I hold him back from learning on his developmental level. I saw him grow leaps and bounds in Kindergarten. Did I see a difference between when he entered and when my January bday entered ABSOLUTELY - but, that is the way it works. But, I could never have held him back from learning, growing, maturing etc. It would not have been fair to him. I could go ON and ON but, I see the point is lost here because some of these posts don't even make sense!



I know this was directed towards me bc my son is a July baby and will not start K until September when he's 6. He was a preemie, born at 32 weeks & had health issues that prevented him from starting school at age 4 for preschool. Last year was his first year of school & he struggled. We did all we could to get him up to speed for K but he was not academically or socially ready to go. His teachers & administrators agreed that we would do a complete dis service entering him in K. We had him tested for disabilities & non are present. I will never defend my reason for not sending him to K bc people want to say it's "abusive" yo keep him back. My son who is 5.5, in prek acts on the same level as all the kids in his class. You would never know his age based on talking to him or socializing with him. He will not have any advantage next year in K at the age of 6, bc he's 6! He will be the same maturity as any of the other boys in his class.

The problem with society today is that everyone has this "stereotype" in their head that he's 17 months older, he'll be more mature. It's pure bull! Maybe people should stop worrying about everyone else & worry solely on your child & what's right for them!

From experience, my oldest son is 6, in K now & will be 7 in September. He again has absolutely no advantage over his peers. He entered school just as timid & scared. He's not bored with the work, actually struggles a bit & im so glad I didn't throw him into K when he was 5, bc honestly he would have fallen so far behind. Plus don't think your child can't repeat K, I have friends where it happened & then didn't hold their child back. The child struggled from day 1. When they held the child back bc they did flourish in K, the child was devastated

I'm not a confrontational person by no means, but don't call me out saying its ABUSE bc I held my child back! You don't know me nor my child! That is beyond dis respectful & to make that assumption is downright rude!

Posted 2/29/16 12:52 PM
 

Superkat
More a stranger than a friend

Member since 5/06

9730 total posts

Name:
K

Re: "fall babies" entering K

My youngest turned 5 last September. The cutoff here is September 1st! So many people hold their kids back. We put our son into private kinder and we will have to test him in August to see if he has to repeat Kinder or start first. He is reading at a 5th grade level and is doing 3rd grade math. He will always be the smallest in his class (just based on stature) but I don't want him to be the most bored kid on top of it.

Posted 2/29/16 1:12 PM
 

Superkat
More a stranger than a friend

Member since 5/06

9730 total posts

Name:
K

Re: "fall babies" entering K

Posted by lululu

If NY moved the cutoff to Sept 1 which is much more reasonable, if you ask me (that way the child is actually 5 when they start kindergarten) I think you would find that a lot less people would hold their kids back.




I wish this was true. I live in a state with the Sept 1 cutoff and people STILL hold back their children. I have been told by more mothers than I want to admit that they hold back their sons, especially since they want them to be "bigger" in sports and not the smallest in class. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 2/29/16 1:35 PM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

7168 total posts

Name:

Re: "fall babies" entering K

Posted by Hofstra26

Posted by lululu

Posted by Hofstra26

Honestly, I'm SO thankful the cutoff here in NY isn't Sept. 1st..............my DD was born on Sept. 19th and if I had to wait another year so that she was 6 when she started she would've been SO miserable in Kindergarten. She might've been only 4 when she started but she was SO ready for school both emotionally and academically. If I was forced to hold her off another year she would've been bored to tears in Kindergarten. Sept. 1st (and before) is too early of a cutoff IMO.



But that's your daughter. My Aug. 28th daughter really could have used an extra year. Every kid is different. Personally I would much rather it go back to the way it used to be where if you thought your child was ready before the cutoff you could have them test into the appropriate grade. No body ever skips a grade any more and when we were kids people skipped grades all the time! I would much rather allow kids to skip a grade than have kids struggle to keep up.



I've literally NEVER heard of kids skipping grades and I'm 40 (and grew up on LI) so it's not like I was in school yesterday. The kids who I started school with in Kindergarten were the kids I graduated HS with, nobody skipped ahead grades. Ever.



I am also 40. In my district, on Long Island, we had many kids that skipped 2nd grade, my year and the year below me (that ended up in my grade). I just think it would be better if instead of worrying about strict guideline we looked at the kids individually. My son is in 2nd and everything comes extremely easy to him. He could probably do the 3rd grade work without a problem and I would potentially consider letting him skip into 3rd if there was that option. My daughter thou, she is in kindergarten and it's tough for her. She might have benefited from the extra year. My point will continue to be that every kid is emotionally and academically different so to say everyone should stick to a hard and fast rule to me might not be the best answer. You have to decide what is right for your child and then you have to advocate for your child. Obviously no one should support holding a boy back so that he can be the biggest kid on the football field but clearly if a kid is emotionally or academically not ready for kindergarten it's worthwhile examining whether or not an extra year of Pre=K might help this child succeed.

Posted 2/29/16 2:33 PM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

7168 total posts

Name:

Re: "fall babies" entering K

Posted by 2BadSoSad

This is how we are ending up with a new generation like that Yelp employee that just went viral.

My son plays football, he is the youngest and the smallest on his team (and in his age group for the league) bc he is a late birthday. You know what, sometimes he gets his ASS kicked. He's a great athlete, but when it comes to football he isn't the best player on the team, it doesn't come as easy to him as other sports, and he is often on the sideline waiting to be subbed. Last season, there was one game he wasn't put in AT ALL. I didn't go to the coach and complain. So yeah, he struggles at football to be AS good as everyone else bc he IS the youngest and smallest. Football is about winning, its not like little league where everyone gets a turn. So if they coach needs the biggest and the strongest to win a game, thats who gets played. Was he upset he didn't get to play that game, sure was. But instead of moving him to the younger league or complaining to the coach for him, we sat him down, put the onus on him and told him it just means he is going to have to work that much harder. There isn't anything he can do about playing with older, bigger, stronger kids, expect work hard and improve the skills he does have and learn to use those to his advantage. We buckled down with him and told him football is HARD, its the hardest sport out there and you have to be willing to be knocked down and work that much harder to get back up. We bought him all the equipment he could need and PRACTICED every single day. He is learning to play to his strengths - being that he is small, he is way more agile and quick - but sometimes, if he's on the line, he literally gets his ass kicked and is laid out in .02 seconds. Thats life. He gets back up and tries harder. there are valuable lessons to be taught and learned when you have to work hard for something.

Not everything is going to come easy, I think its FAR more valuable to learn to buckle down, deal with challenges, learn to rise above them and deal with struggles, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and work hard. Kids need to learn that things will not always come easy and sometimes you have to work extra hard



The only problem that I have with this analogy is that it's football and most likely your son is not playing for the NFL one day. Academic development is very different. There are certain children that will just not grasp concepts until a certain point and to say that you should tell that kid to just buck up and figure it out is doing everyone a disservice. You are basically setting that child up for failure. I can't tell you how many moms told me that if I just spent more time teaching my daughter her letters she would learn them. We spent hours and hours some days, she just was not ready. And she was 4. Ultimately I decided not to hold her but she does not like school, complains every day about going, has a hard time with the homework to the point that it takes her about 45 minutes a night. She is also the hardest worker ever but at this age I would rather her learn to love school & love learning than to learn that sometimes in order just to do okay you need to work 10x harder than the other kids. She's 5. She has plenty of time to learn that!

Posted 2/29/16 2:39 PM
 
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