Do you feel weird explaining to parents..

Does anyone feel weird when parents of children ask them why they aren't having kids? If you definitely don't want kids, or may not want them, do you feel weird saying that to parents of children? Do you feel like you are putting down their decision?

I do sometimes. I don't know why. I guess I'm sensitive to how others feel. Like, if I were looking to buy a car, I would feel weird telling someone who owns a Buick, that I'm not interested in Buicks..I'd feel bad, as if I'm insulting their choice in car. I know it's not the same situation but I can't help but wonder if they feel like I'm insulting them or their child for not being cute enough to sway me..

Anyone feel this way?

Message edited 5/3/2013 5:12:20 PM.

Do you feel weird explaining to parents..

Sometimes I feel bad after I say what's on my mind lol

I look at it this way... Typically people have no problem telling my husband and I how we'll be alone when we're older, what will we do for holidays, what if you regret your decision, blah blah blah

So I keep it honest.. If that makes someone feel bad I'm sorry that they're not confident with their choices.

They are choosing to have kids and we're choosing to travel and have dogs lol

We host exchange students too so I feel like they are my "children"

Do you feel weird explaining to parents..

Nope. If they have an issue with it, then it's their issue and not mine.

That being said, I dont tell them things that really would be insulting. I just say "Having kids is not our thing." and then it usually is dropped. It's not like someone is asking and I'm saying that people are stupid becoming parents, etc.

Disclaimer: I dont think this about parents, just giving an example.

Re: Do you feel weird explaining to parents..

I understand what you mean, it's the same thing when people ask me why i'm a vegetarian and I start going into it (animal cruelty, hormones, antibiotics, steroids etc...) and they eat meat. I'm honest with them, I mean if you ask a question be prepared for the answer right!

I tell people we're looking forward to our early retirement in 11 years. Most people like that and cheer us on, saying "you're smart" or "wish we could" something like that.

Re: Do you feel weird explaining to parents..

No...I don't feel weird saying "because we don't want any"; it's the truth.

What we DO want:

We want to travel extensively.
We want to retire early and not worry about college money.
We'd rather spoil our niece.
We want to persue our hobbies, which are not exactly cheap (him: guitar and classic car restoration/me: playing drums)
We want to lounge in the yard drinking wine and reading.
We want to only deal with the meowing of kitties and not the crying of babies.
We want to go to concerts or ballgames or Broadway shows or take advantage of a great last-minute travel opportunity.
We want to spoil ourselves.

I don't ask people why they're having children...I don't know why parents ask me why we aren't.

We're confident in our decision...I don't even like to use that word, 'decision'. Damn society for making me sometimes feel that way. It's not a decision, it's just what we are. We're a married couple with three cats who want to enjoy our life together. Das it!

Re: Do you feel weird explaining to parents..

I don't feel weird, I actually get a bit angry because the question implies that somehow I am the odd person for not choosing to procreate. Sometimes when I am at work and surrounded by people with kids who hint at me about why I don't have kids, I feel like turning it back to them and ask "so why did you actually have kids?"...but of course, I won't say that IRL (even though I think it )

Thankfully, I don't have any friends or family asking me such questions..and once I turn 40 in a few years, they know its not gonna happen...lol

Do you feel weird explaining to parents..

As a parent, I have a lot more respect for people who are honest with themselves and choose not to have children for whatever their reason is than for people who have children and don't take care of them. Some parents (I think especially women) have a hard time wrapping their head around why someone would not want children. It's sort of like what someone said above, some people can't wrap their head around why you would be a vegetarian. It's not their experience and they are not open minded enough to see another point of view.

In any event, don't feel bad. It's your life, it's your decision and nothing to feel badly about.

Re: Do you feel weird explaining to parents..