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MrsWoods
LIF Adult
Member since 4/12 1461 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice
Clarify what other things that seem like controlling? cause this situation is not a good one
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Posted 2/14/20 12:30 PM  |
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Faith26
LIF Zygote
Member since 2/20 29 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice
I appreciate everyones advice and comments even if you didnt quite get the entore picture adtwr reading my additions... i know what to do and i can see the writing on the wall.
Thank you. Have a happy Valentine's Day.
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| Posted 2/14/20 12:33 PM |
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w8andsee
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 1193 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice
Posted by Faith26
I also didny like it that he said something a couole weeks ago now that i remember abiut how he should be given my sons child support and how he pays for food. Meanwhile i always take care of my son first.. i contribute to buyung food as well.
The child support comment bothers me more. That's pretty ballsy to say.
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| Posted 2/14/20 12:44 PM |
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Faith26
LIF Zygote
Member since 2/20 29 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice
Posted by w8andsee
Posted by Faith26
I also didny like it that he said something a couole weeks ago now that i remember abiut how he should be given my sons child support and how he pays for food. Meanwhile i always take care of my son first.. i contribute to buyung food as well.
The child support comment bothers me more. That's pretty ballsy to say.
Yes. I agree. I guess i have bottling up on his ways and comments and yesterday just was enough..
I know what I need to do. Im gonna do awesome at my new job. Secure save some money and move on with my son.. also wanna go back to school to get my bachelor's.. so I am learning aot about him and about myself.
The sex is amazing.. hes passionate and I will miss that but ultimately I have to do whats best for my son and I.
Thanks for your input ladies whether you get the situation or not.
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| Posted 2/14/20 12:59 PM |
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Faith26
LIF Zygote
Member since 2/20 29 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice
Fm sent
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| Posted 2/14/20 12:59 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice
Some of these comments are so  .
Look, the FACT is, you found a new job and you found that new job pretty quickly AND you continued to pay him even when you were unemployed. So you have to pay him a few days late this month and you still got a manicure, how is this a big deal? Would it somehow improve his financial situation this month to have been given the $35 that you spent on a mani and then get the rest later after your first paycheck?
He's being ridiculous. You're still going to pay your fair share this month, you have never missed a payment and aside from all of that..............he's your boyfriend, not your damn landlord so it shouldn't matter if "you're a few days late" paying him. His comment was obnoxious in my opinion.
If you were STILL unemployed and couldn't pay him at all that is one thing but in the situation you've described, he's kind of being an a$$hole.
Message edited 2/14/2020 1:05:59 PM.
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| Posted 2/14/20 1:04 PM |
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Faith26
LIF Zygote
Member since 2/20 29 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice
Posted by Hofstra26
Some of these comments are so .
Look, the FACT is, you found a new job and you found that new job pretty quickly AND you continued to pay him even when you were unemployed. So you have to pay him a few days late this month and you still got a manicure, how is this a big deal? Would it somehow improve his financial situation this month to have been given the $35 that you spent on a mani and then get the rest later after your first paycheck?
He's being ridiculous. You're still going to pay your fair share this month, you have never missed a payment and aside from all of that..............he's your boyfriend, not your damn landlord so it shouldn't matter if "you're a few days late" paying him. His comment was obnoxious in my opinion.
If you were STILL unemployed and couldn't pay him at all that is one thing but in the situation you've described, he's kind of being an a$$hole.
Ding ding ding!!!! Youve got it!!!! Thank you so much for articulately commenting! I think so too. I am glad I am seeing this now because I am not going to marry another as$$$$ and watch my life pass me by.
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| Posted 2/14/20 1:10 PM |
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jellybelly79
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 3389 total posts
Name:
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Need advice
I don’t like that he had a chip on his shoulder nor do I like that he even asks you for $340. He way paying it before you moved in! Huge red flags for me. You got your nails done, big deal! I didn’t move in with my DH until we got married because I’m super old fashioned but not old...we have been together 12 years. I have only ever contributed to household items and groceries. And it’s a joint account so realistically I’m just responsible for actually doing the shopping. Everyone’s circumstances are completely different but he seems way too controlling, especially over a measly $35!
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| Posted 2/14/20 3:10 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11486 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: Need advice
Posted by jellybelly79
I don’t like that he had a chip on his shoulder nor do I like that he even asks you for $340. He way paying it before you moved in! Huge red flags for me. You got your nails done, big deal! I didn’t move in with my DH until we got married because I’m super old fashioned but not old...we have been together 12 years. I have only ever contributed to household items and groceries. And it’s a joint account so realistically I’m just responsible for actually doing the shopping. Everyone’s circumstances are completely different but he seems way too controlling, especially over a measly $35!
What? You don’t think she should be paying the $340??? Why? She lives there and is using the space. I say this as if they make equal. I know she was unemployed before, but every one has to pay rent.
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| Posted 2/14/20 3:20 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Need advice
Posted by Hofstra26
Some of these comments are so .
Look, the FACT is, you found a new job and you found that new job pretty quickly AND you continued to pay him even when you were unemployed. So you have to pay him a few days late this month and you still got a manicure, how is this a big deal? Would it somehow improve his financial situation this month to have been given the $35 that you spent on a mani and then get the rest later after your first paycheck?
He's being ridiculous. You're still going to pay your fair share this month, you have never missed a payment and aside from all of that..............he's your boyfriend, not your damn landlord so it shouldn't matter if "you're a few days late" paying him. His comment was obnoxious in my opinion.
If you were STILL unemployed and couldn't pay him at all that is one thing but in the situation you've described, he's kind of being an a$$hole.
Exactly. It's $35 people and shes starting a new job and wanted her nails to look nice what the issue? DIY mani's are nice sure but not everyone has nails for it. She said she uses acrylic nails which need to be done by a professional. She's not shafting him rent for the next few months she told him she'll be a few weeks late at best. If she went out and bought a $500 handbag then I can see him having a negative reaction but for $35 on nails his comment is ridiculous. Maybe he was having a bad day IDK but IMO making a snide comment over $35 she spent on her nails especially when she is starting a new job is not a good sign of possible things to come.
My DH can be frugal AF when it comes to some things but he never ever has given me crap about me doing my nails because in the grand scheme of things it's a small amount and it makes me feel better about myself.
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| Posted 2/14/20 4:15 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice
Posted by Faith26
Posted by Hofstra26
Some of these comments are so .
Look, the FACT is, you found a new job and you found that new job pretty quickly AND you continued to pay him even when you were unemployed. So you have to pay him a few days late this month and you still got a manicure, how is this a big deal? Would it somehow improve his financial situation this month to have been given the $35 that you spent on a mani and then get the rest later after your first paycheck?
He's being ridiculous. You're still going to pay your fair share this month, you have never missed a payment and aside from all of that..............he's your boyfriend, not your damn landlord so it shouldn't matter if "you're a few days late" paying him. His comment was obnoxious in my opinion.
If you were STILL unemployed and couldn't pay him at all that is one thing but in the situation you've described, he's kind of being an a$$hole.
Ding ding ding!!!! Youve got it!!!! Thank you so much for articulately commenting! I think so too. I am glad I am seeing this now because I am not going to marry another as$$$$ and watch my life pass me by.
I think you have a right to be annoyed. Throwing a comment at you to "get your priorities straight" over a $35 manicure is RIDICULOUS.
I wouldn't dump him or anything over it (yet) but I would keep my eyes wide open going forward.
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| Posted 2/14/20 4:43 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: Need advice
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by jellybelly79
I don’t like that he had a chip on his shoulder nor do I like that he even asks you for $340. He way paying it before you moved in! Huge red flags for me. You got your nails done, big deal! I didn’t move in with my DH until we got married because I’m super old fashioned but not old...we have been together 12 years. I have only ever contributed to household items and groceries. And it’s a joint account so realistically I’m just responsible for actually doing the shopping. Everyone’s circumstances are completely different but he seems way too controlling, especially over a measly $35!
What? You don’t think she should be paying the $340??? Why? She lives there and is using the space. I say this as if they make equal. I know she was unemployed before, but every one has to pay rent.
This. It’s not rent to him is part of the household bills. No free ride in life!!! They aren’t married but they are in a relationship and living together so yes there should be conversations about how each spend money.
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| Posted 2/14/20 4:46 PM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by jellybelly79
I don’t like that he had a chip on his shoulder nor do I like that he even asks you for $340. He way paying it before you moved in! Huge red flags for me. You got your nails done, big deal! I didn’t move in with my DH until we got married because I’m super old fashioned but not old...we have been together 12 years. I have only ever contributed to household items and groceries. And it’s a joint account so realistically I’m just responsible for actually doing the shopping. Everyone’s circumstances are completely different but he seems way too controlling, especially over a measly $35!
What? You don’t think she should be paying the $340??? Why? She lives there and is using the space. I say this as if they make equal. I know she was unemployed before, but every one has to pay rent.
ITA!!!! And I almost never agree with Klingkland, but come the eff on!!! This is a middle aged woman with a child...maybe moving in with a bf of only a year and half wasn't the best idea in this situation. Anyway, I think we are actually being trolled here . I'm having a hard time believing any of this is true.
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| Posted 2/14/20 6:19 PM |
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loveus
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/13 684 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by jellybelly79
I don’t like that he had a chip on his shoulder nor do I like that he even asks you for $340. He way paying it before you moved in! Huge red flags for me. You got your nails done, big deal! I didn’t move in with my DH until we got married because I’m super old fashioned but not old...we have been together 12 years. I have only ever contributed to household items and groceries. And it’s a joint account so realistically I’m just responsible for actually doing the shopping. Everyone’s circumstances are completely different but he seems way too controlling, especially over a measly $35!
What? You don’t think she should be paying the $340??? Why? She lives there and is using the space. I say this as if they make equal. I know she was unemployed before, but every one has to pay rent.
ITA!!!! And I almost never agree with Klingkland, but come the eff on!!! This is a middle aged woman with a child...maybe moving in with a bf of only a year and half wasn't the best idea in this situation. Anyway, I think we are actually being trolled here . I'm having a hard time believing any of this is true.
Seems like she only wants people to agree with her and if you don’t she then has a reason why your reasoning is wrong.
He sounds like a catch to me and I don’t see him having a problem finding another woman.
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| Posted 2/14/20 6:24 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11486 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: Need advice
Posted by alli3131
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by jellybelly79
I don’t like that he had a chip on his shoulder nor do I like that he even asks you for $340. He way paying it before you moved in! Huge red flags for me. You got your nails done, big deal! I didn’t move in with my DH until we got married because I’m super old fashioned but not old...we have been together 12 years. I have only ever contributed to household items and groceries. And it’s a joint account so realistically I’m just responsible for actually doing the shopping. Everyone’s circumstances are completely different but he seems way too controlling, especially over a measly $35!
What? You don’t think she should be paying the $340??? Why? She lives there and is using the space. I say this as if they make equal. I know she was unemployed before, but every one has to pay rent.
This. It’s not rent to him is part of the household bills. No free ride in life!!! They aren’t married but they are in a relationship and living together so yes there should be conversations about how each spend money.
I agree.
OP I get you were unemployed (I’ve been there, too.)
But you have to pay your share and on time. I have done it with assistance. And I did it. I made ends meet. I’m doing OK and I have jobs coming up to make that happen. I’m divorced. I understand how hard it is to wait on alimony. I am getting a nice lump sum next month. But I have worked really hard to earn money, so that I have a nice savings. Hell, I’m doing kitchen work in a restaurant (cooking) to get these bills paid.
The last thing on my mind is getting a manicure. The first thing on my mind is paying bills and doing a food budget. That being said, moving in with someone doesn’t mean a meal ticket.
I live with someone and I keep track of everything. He is in my (our) apartment and I make sure he pays his share.
I don’t blame your boyfriend for being angry. I would watch out for it in the future, but remember you live there, too.
It also seems to me that the OP is “you don’t understand my lyfe, but but...”
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| Posted 2/14/20 7:54 PM |
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TTCwithHope
LIF Infant
Member since 4/10 296 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Need advice
...
Message edited 6/1/2020 4:27:41 PM.
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| Posted 2/14/20 8:29 PM |
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mrsrainbow
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 1465 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice
Posted by alli3131
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by jellybelly79
I don’t like that he had a chip on his shoulder nor do I like that he even asks you for $340. He way paying it before you moved in! Huge red flags for me. You got your nails done, big deal! I didn’t move in with my DH until we got married because I’m super old fashioned but not old...we have been together 12 years. I have only ever contributed to household items and groceries. And it’s a joint account so realistically I’m just responsible for actually doing the shopping. Everyone’s circumstances are completely different but he seems way too controlling, especially over a measly $35!
What? You don’t think she should be paying the $340??? Why? She lives there and is using the space. I say this as if they make equal. I know she was unemployed before, but every one has to pay rent.
This. It’s not rent to him is part of the household bills. No free ride in life!!! They aren’t married but they are in a relationship and living together so yes there should be conversations about how each spend money.
Some of you guys are looking at what are supposed to be loving, romantic, happy relationships as nothing more than financial business transactions and that is beyond troubling.
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| Posted 2/15/20 8:35 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Need advice
Posted by mrsrainbow
Posted by alli3131
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by jellybelly79
I don’t like that he had a chip on his shoulder nor do I like that he even asks you for $340. He way paying it before you moved in! Huge red flags for me. You got your nails done, big deal! I didn’t move in with my DH until we got married because I’m super old fashioned but not old...we have been together 12 years. I have only ever contributed to household items and groceries. And it’s a joint account so realistically I’m just responsible for actually doing the shopping. Everyone’s circumstances are completely different but he seems way too controlling, especially over a measly $35!
What? You don’t think she should be paying the $340??? Why? She lives there and is using the space. I say this as if they make equal. I know she was unemployed before, but every one has to pay rent.
This. It’s not rent to him is part of the household bills. No free ride in life!!! They aren’t married but they are in a relationship and living together so yes there should be conversations about how each spend money.
Some of you guys are looking at what are supposed to be loving, romantic, happy relationships as nothing more than financial business transactions and that is beyond troubling.
But how does being in a loving, romantic relationship mean the woman gets a free ride? Why do women need to be "taken care of" by their men? It's not 1950.
I'm married and we have all joint accounts but we both contribute. I was unpaid on my maternity leave so I had to go back to work after only 6 weeks because we needed the money. Does that mean DH doesn't love me? That we aren't in a happy romantic relationship?
No, it means we had bills to pay and a child to support.
What if a guy moved in with his girlfriend and wasn't contributing to the extra expenses him and his child added to the household? Would it be the same thing?
The love and romance doesn't pay the bills.
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| Posted 2/15/20 9:00 AM |
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ave1024
I Took The Wrong Road
Member since 12/07 6153 total posts
Name:
That Led To The Wrong Tendencies
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Re: Need advice
Posted by Faith26
Posted by Mrs213
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
I think his comment was uncalled for. If you got your nails done today, then a massage on Tuesday and said you were going for drinks with friends Saturday night, then I can see him saying something. But for a manicure? Shit, he should have offered to get you a mani for your new job as a treat.
I think it’s a red flag.
Watch out.
I agree with this. I do kind of see your boyfriends point of view but it’s not like you went out and blew $500 on crap. I would keep this incident on my radar and see how things go before making any further commitments. He could have had a bug up his ass that day lol. And save your money so you have a nice down payment for an apartment in case things go south!
Exactly,. Thats my thoughts on this too. I am actually a very old member on here i left long island years ago and living in another state now. But i remember most of you ladies.. by your names and avatar oics. My old name and account i guess was deactivated for non use but i came on here in 2007. Thank you dor your input.
I agree i need to save just in case..
I am a grown adiult woman in her mid 40's i dont need a man telling me what i can and cant spend my money on especially since it was only 35.00.. And i have been doing the nice thing and giving him the 340 monthly out of my alimony and unemployment and atill paying my own bills.. i dont ever spend frivolously so if i want to get my nails done right before i stsrt my new job Monday i will. Im not married to him and i dont feel he had a say how i spend my money that i do have.
This sounds like a troll job post by the OP.
But assuming it isn’t your attitude is quite elitist. You keep saying that because you are paying him $340 a month you are doing HIM such favors and such. If you think him and/or the situation is so bad then move out and pay the $1500 a month to get your own place.
This man took you and your kid in to HIS house and not really expecting you to pay anything. You probably cost him half the $340 in increased utilities. Electric in Long Island is expensive. If you were living on your own you think you can tell your landlord that they have to wait for their rent?
Was it petty of him to complain about the $35? Maybe. Maybe he was having a bad day. But the fact remains that there is an issue with your priorities and there is more of an issue with your elitist attitude regarding how paying him a measly $340 a month to have not one but TWO addition people living in HIS house somehow helps him.
Maybe he will call your bluff and ask you to move out. Maybe your tone would change then.
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| Posted 2/15/20 9:38 AM |
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Faith26
LIF Zygote
Member since 2/20 29 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by mrsrainbow
Posted by alli3131
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by jellybelly79
I don’t like that he had a chip on his shoulder nor do I like that he even asks you for $340. He way paying it before you moved in! Huge red flags for me. You got your nails done, big deal! I didn’t move in with my DH until we got married because I’m super old fashioned but not old...we have been together 12 years. I have only ever contributed to household items and groceries. And it’s a joint account so realistically I’m just responsible for actually doing the shopping. Everyone’s circumstances are completely different but he seems way too controlling, especially over a measly $35!
What? You don’t think she should be paying the $340??? Why? She lives there and is using the space. I say this as if they make equal. I know she was unemployed before, but every one has to pay rent.
This. It’s not rent to him is part of the household bills. No free ride in life!!! They aren’t married but they are in a relationship and living together so yes there should be conversations about how each spend money.
Some of you guys are looking at what are supposed to be loving, romantic, happy relationships as nothing more than financial business transactions and that is beyond troubling.
But how does being in a loving, romantic relationship mean the woman gets a free ride? Why do women need to be "taken care of" by their men? It's not 1950.
I'm married and we have all joint accounts but we both contribute. I was unpaid on my maternity leave so I had to go back to work after only 6 weeks because we needed the money. Does that mean DH doesn't love me? That we aren't in a happy romantic relationship?
No, it means we had bills to pay and a child to support.
What if a guy moved in with his girlfriend and wasn't contributing to the extra expenses him and his child added to the household? Would it be the same thing?
The love and romance doesn't pay the bills.
I am the OP. I totally agree with all of this. All I was trying to say is, I think it caused red flag's to me that being er already had the conversation that Inwould be continuing my agreement, but that it would be a little layer than what he us used to receiving it by.. the commeny came along after we had the talk.. thats all.
I didn't say that Inexpect a free ride. That came from some of the posters here.
I am no troll or trolling whatever that means. I am annold poster who was bellaicchi from 2007 under a new name since i moved years ago, i came bsck on this board used to a ppace of positive support amongst women who built eachother up, not trar them down and stsrt immature internet fights... i am seeing that as time has gone on this board is not the same. What a shame.
I asked for advice and Inexplained in a few posts that i accepted them wheteher you understood the situation or not. I am not expecting people to agree with me if i dont get what i want to hear ..its offensive comments... smh
What i am saying here is that most of you didny get it al all and turned it into i am expecting a free ride which is totally inaccurate.
Since i have been a member here starting in 2007. I had been married haf a baby snd moved to another state went thorough a horrible marriage and very contentious divorce where my former ex financially drained me. Which was his motive as my punishment for leaving..
Maybe some of you will continue on with yout marriages here and some will not.. and I truly hope it works out for those that are married on here.. but accusung me of being a troll or trolling is completely wrong and is on3 hundred percent not true
Again. I SEE all sides and have taken all advice and comments in. I own my part.
However those who are quite younger on here and cimmenting how is this "middle aged woman" no financially set by now shows a total kack of compassion ...
Some marriages wotk out some dont... some woman will be financially drained due to high cintentious divroces whuch costs allot of court fees.. and again i truly hope that those of you who had negative harsh comments tonsay aboit my age o financial situation never wver go theough what I did.
Im done with this thread.
Aka bellaocchi..from 2007 -2017
Please remember going forward to lift all your women friends up... as the old saying goes.. be kind for you never know what peoples battles are.
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| Posted 2/15/20 10:43 AM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3986 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice
Posted by Faith26
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by Faith26
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by Faith26
We are both in our 40's.. both have gone through divorces..
Yes, i am definitely keeping my eyes open. Hes been living here for 2 years doing ir on his own
. What is making me kinda suspicious is shortly beforw i moved in with him i to.his house, he had said he was getting 400 a month deducted fr his pay due to health insurance for him and his son that his company that he works for just addung it on finally to the employee's.. so now im thinming wait.. in his mind, did he think my moving in would be helping HIM off set that cost.. so essentially whonis really helping who out here?
I dont know bc other times hes givwn me money to treat me to getting my nails done or just some cash for gas.. etc.. so urs hard to twll with him.. but I thinjk from now on im definitely keeping my ears and eyes wide open.
I’m a little confused about your comment about the health insurance thing. Yes, he has to pay health insurance and you moved in, so you should be paying rent regardless. Do you think he only asked you to move in for money reasons? Because that isn’t the best reason to move in.
Regardless, you should still be paying rent, so you aren’t really “helping him out”.
It’s time to sit down and have the money talk. And I think getting your nails done was not necessary. You could have waited two weeks for your first paycheck.
I am starting to see it now that way. Yes
Back in late 2019 he told me the company he works for finally offered health insurance to their employees but that it was going to put him.back $400/month.
We began talking about me moving in to his place
Shortly after.. i lived in a very spacious townhouse.
That my parents owned but didnt live there and I didnt have to leave.
Trust me im in it..and see that he had a tendency to be somewhat controlling now...
So why did you move in with him and leave the very spacious townhouse? Why didn’t he move in with you?
my parents were moving in soon and it could not accommodate all of us.
At the time I thought it was the right move. But we all know that you dont know someone until you live with them kwim?
Wait I thought you said you didnt have to move? Are your parents moving in to the townhouse now just because you moved out? I am so confused.
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| Posted 2/15/20 11:01 AM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Need advice
I'll lift women up who are real woman and not a 19 year old guy who can't spell trying to think up the most insane scenario he can just to get his kicks posting on a predominantly woman's chat board. I mean the line about the sex being amazing is what gave it away for me....no middle aged woman, a mother no less, is living with a boyfriend, pretty much rent free, but complaining how controlling he is, but then saying oh how can I leave when the sex is amazing!!!! Yeah, we are being trolled hardcore, Hope you got your jollies!
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| Posted 2/15/20 11:05 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Need advice
OP it’s your words that made it sound like you feel you are entitled to a free ride. You referred to the $340 as a “favor”. I get you are out of state but I can’t imagine you paying less than $340 on rent on your own. These were your words:
And i have been doing the nice thing and giving him the 340 monthly out of my alimony and unemployment and atill paying my own bills.
Many posters including myself said your bf comment was rude or uncalled for but you disregarded it because you didn’t like that we also pointed out that you weren’t totally right either. Don’t ask for advice if you can’t take it, especially from strangers. People were being honest, not tearing you down. Lifting women up doesn’t mean to pretend they are right all the time and treat them with kid gloves.
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| Posted 2/15/20 11:08 AM |
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Faith26
LIF Zygote
Member since 2/20 29 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice
Posted by RainyDay
Posted by Faith26
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by Faith26
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by Faith26
We are both in our 40's.. both have gone through divorces..
Yes, i am definitely keeping my eyes open. Hes been living here for 2 years doing ir on his own
. What is making me kinda suspicious is shortly beforw i moved in with him i to.his house, he had said he was getting 400 a month deducted fr his pay due to health insurance for him and his son that his company that he works for just addung it on finally to the employee's.. so now im thinming wait.. in his mind, did he think my moving in would be helping HIM off set that cost.. so essentially whonis really helping who out here?
I dont know bc other times hes givwn me money to treat me to getting my nails done or just some cash for gas.. etc.. so urs hard to twll with him.. but I thinjk from now on im definitely keeping my ears and eyes wide open.
I’m a little confused about your comment about the health insurance thing. Yes, he has to pay health insurance and you moved in, so you should be paying rent regardless. Do you think he only asked you to move in for money reasons? Because that isn’t the best reason to move in.
Regardless, you should still be paying rent, so you aren’t really “helping him out”.
It’s time to sit down and have the money talk. And I think getting your nails done was not necessary. You could have waited two weeks for your first paycheck.
I am starting to see it now that way. Yes
Back in late 2019 he told me the company he works for finally offered health insurance to their employees but that it was going to put him.back $400/month.
We began talking about me moving in to his place
Shortly after.. i lived in a very spacious townhouse.
That my parents owned but didnt live there and I didnt have to leave.
Trust me im in it..and see that he had a tendency to be somewhat controlling now...
So why did you move in with him and leave the very spacious townhouse? Why didn’t he move in with you?
my parents were moving in soon and it could not accommodate all of us.
At the time I thought it was the right move. But we all know that you dont know someone until you live with them kwim?
Wait I thought you said you didnt have to move? Are your parents moving in to the townhouse now just because you moved out? I am so confused.
Oh dear... I didn't have to move.. I could have chosen to stay with my son, however if i moved my bf in with his son the space wouldn't accommodate all of us... meaning myself, my son, his son and my bf. We are in my bf condo temporarily until WE save up to get a house together.
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| Posted 2/15/20 11:09 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Need advice
Posted by RainyDay
Posted by Faith26
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by Faith26
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by Faith26
We are both in our 40's.. both have gone through divorces..
Yes, i am definitely keeping my eyes open. Hes been living here for 2 years doing ir on his own
. What is making me kinda suspicious is shortly beforw i moved in with him i to.his house, he had said he was getting 400 a month deducted fr his pay due to health insurance for him and his son that his company that he works for just addung it on finally to the employee's.. so now im thinming wait.. in his mind, did he think my moving in would be helping HIM off set that cost.. so essentially whonis really helping who out here?
I dont know bc other times hes givwn me money to treat me to getting my nails done or just some cash for gas.. etc.. so urs hard to twll with him.. but I thinjk from now on im definitely keeping my ears and eyes wide open.
I’m a little confused about your comment about the health insurance thing. Yes, he has to pay health insurance and you moved in, so you should be paying rent regardless. Do you think he only asked you to move in for money reasons? Because that isn’t the best reason to move in.
Regardless, you should still be paying rent, so you aren’t really “helping him out”.
It’s time to sit down and have the money talk. And I think getting your nails done was not necessary. You could have waited two weeks for your first paycheck.
I am starting to see it now that way. Yes
Back in late 2019 he told me the company he works for finally offered health insurance to their employees but that it was going to put him.back $400/month.
We began talking about me moving in to his place
Shortly after.. i lived in a very spacious townhouse.
That my parents owned but didnt live there and I didnt have to leave.
Trust me im in it..and see that he had a tendency to be somewhat controlling now...
So why did you move in with him and leave the very spacious townhouse? Why didn’t he move in with you?
my parents were moving in soon and it could not accommodate all of us.
At the time I thought it was the right move. But we all know that you dont know someone until you live with them kwim?
Wait I thought you said you didnt have to move? Are your parents moving in to the townhouse now just because you moved out? I am so confused.
She keeps changing her story so she can be right. I can’t!
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| Posted 2/15/20 11:10 AM |
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