Birth Order of Children-cute

I posted this a while back when PG with DS, but just saw it when I was searching for something. I figured the newly pg ladies would enjoy.

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
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Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't' t do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month
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The Layette :

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
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Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing
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Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and

wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
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Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.


3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

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Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
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Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
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At Home:

1st baby : You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.


3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
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Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
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GRANDCHILDREN:

God's reward for allowing your children to live!

Re: Birth Order of Children-cute

So I guess it's bad that a lot of those "3rd child" guidelines apply to me now

Re: Birth Order of Children-cute

Posted by headoverheels



So I guess it's bad that a lot of those "3rd child" guidelines apply to me now

Re: Birth Order of Children-cute

ETA-Is it bad that on some of those things I range from second to third child and this is my first?

Message edited 11/10/2009 11:26:59 AM.

Re: Birth Order of Children-cute

Posted by munchkinfacemama



ETA-Is it bad that on some of those things I range from second to third child and this is my first?

Re: Birth Order of Children-cute

looove it!!!

Re: Birth Order of Children-cute

omg i love it!!

Re: Birth Order of Children-cute

Re: Birth Order of Children-cute

Re: Birth Order of Children-cute

that was great

Re: Birth Order of Children-cute

Too funny!

Re: Birth Order of Children-cute

I'm only on 2nd child but so far, so true