Am I a bad mom if I don't do much for her 2nd birthday?

I am just not feeling motivated enough to have a big birthday for her second but I'm so on the fence. I feel like I just need to keep it up since we did big for her 1st. I don't feel like spending the money or investing the time and energy.
I am thinking either cake and pizza with family and a her 2 little friends on her birthday or a small playgroup birthday on a Friday morning.
I don't know why but I'm feeling so guilty about not going all out but my heart just isn't in it. I feel like $500 or $1000 can be spent on starting her big girl room which we'll hopefully need in the next year. Ugggh! I'm so torn.

Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't do much for her 2nd birthday?

I didn't do a party for DS's 1st and I don't plan to for his 2nd either. He won't know the difference anyway. Like you, I feel like the money can be spent on other things. We will still have cake and presents, just no party.

Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't do much for her 2nd birthday?

If it makes you feel any better we aren't doing anything big for Ava's 2nd birthday and we didn't do anything big for her first. We will probably just go out to dinner with immediate family. I'll save the bigger parties when she has more friends and can actually appreciate them. Don't feel guilty.

Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't do much for her 2nd birthday?

Your not a bad mother. She will enjoy her party no matter what.

Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't do much for her 2nd birthday?

Don't beat yourself up. They are so little, they don't need much in the way of "fancy" parties at this age.

I just had my parents, siblings, one aunt and my grandmother, and two very close friends and their families over for pizza and cake. Nothing fancy - but, to my DD, it was the best party ever. LOL, she is easy to please...

On her actual bday last week, my hubby took the day off of work and the four of us went out for the afternoon to a local nature center. The kids loved it - and they loved doing a special activity during the day with Mommy AND Daddy. Then we went to Friendly's for dinner.
PERFECT.

Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't do much for her 2nd birthday?

If you are then I am also. I personally don't see point in spending a sh!tload of money on the early birthdays. At that age the parties with ponies and characters are for the guests and not the birthday boy/girl. I rather spend the money on the birthdays that they will remember. JMO

ETA: We've invited family and few friends over for pizza for Nate's 1st b-day and then a BBQ for Nate's 2nd b-day. I actually prefer the more intimate parties.

Message edited 8/10/2007 4:42:40 PM.

Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't do much for her 2nd birthday?

Thanks moms! My heart just isn't into going all out. I've got a lot of personal stuff going on. We're talking about TTC so the whole saving money thing is big on my mind and we just had a fairly big BBQ for a friend a couple of weeks ago so I'm not into that whole excuse to have an adult party thing.
Our playgroup is about 6 moms and 10-12 kids so I can do low key pizza and cake and MIL will be in town for her actual birthday so we'll just do a small family thing on the actual day. I almost feel relieved at making this decision. It's been totally stressing me out.

Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't do much for her 2nd birthday?

I don't plan on doing anything huge for Alex's 2nd either - pretty much the same thing as her first - we'll have maybe 15-20 people over, some cake, some pizza, the token bagels and cream cheese spread, put out some toys, fill up the baby pool, and we're ready to go

Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't do much for her 2nd birthday?

After everything going into planning (and paying for ) his 1st BD party I have already decided that next year is going to be low key. And its fine, they wont even remmeber it!

Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't do much for her 2nd birthday?

I did a few kids at Chuck E CHeese... just long enough for a 2 year old's attention spam and not too expensive!

Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't do much for her 2nd birthday?

Actually, that sounds perfect. Many "experts" recommend only one child per yr so two yrs=two children. A big party can be overwhelming to a 2 yr old and you never know how they will react to all the extras, eg, characters...so I think it is a great idea to keep it simple. She will have a great time.

We had just family for my DS 2 yr party. At 3 he had his first kids party because he kept asking for one just like his friends.

Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't do much for her 2nd birthday?

That's how I was for her 1st...you know up until like 5 or 6...they don't care. It's more about us

Don't stress over it, because she won't

Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't do much for her 2nd birthday?

I think your idea for the small playgroup party with pizza and cake sounds GREAT!!!! You are not a bad mommy - she wont know the difference if you spend $50 or $500 on her party anyways! just do something that you will all enjoy and that wont be stressful for you.

Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't do much for her 2nd birthday?

Honestly we didn't do anything special for her second birthday. We just had my mother and step father over for some cake and stuff. I just don't see the point when she won't remember it and it was very stressful on both her and I for her first. Maybe for her third I MIGHT but I would probably wait until her fourth when she understands the concept a little more.

Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't do much for her 2nd birthday?

It's ok not go crazy for their birthdays, it's not like their going to remember. :) On my sons 2nd b-day I just had my family and 2 of my friend with their kids at my house and had pizza & cake. DS had a blast!!!!

Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't do much for her 2nd birthday?

No, definately NOT. I am not doing anything big for his 1st, either. I just can't be bothered. It will be something small with just my immediate family. We have more fun and less stress that way!

Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't do much for her 2nd birthday?

Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't do much for her 2nd birthday?

There was a great article in either New York magazine or Time Out New York about how out of control kids birthday parties have become. I say have a small one and have fun!

Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't do much for her 2nd birthday?

We are probably not even going to make a big deal about the 1st since its the day before I go back to work after Christmas break and we will celebrate with my family back East over Christmas anyway.

So you are NOT a bad mom