Help please, I am losing my mind-9 month old constantly whining, clingy, crying

Please help me before I lose my mind.

Since we returned to NY, DD is driving me mad. She is very clingy, cries if I have someone else hold her (it is getting a little better), waking in the middle of the night playing in her crib, whining a lot, crying a lot, just driving me mad.

She is just about to start crawling and she is getting on her knees and rocking. She does tend to cry a lot then. She is not exactly there yet and screams if I help her.

DH is also still in Florida and coming here on Friday. I have no idea if that has to do with it.

I am exhausted, my nerves are shot and I feel like I can't do anything unless I am holding her since her crying and whining is grating me. I am tired and my fuse is really short and I am definitely embarrassed to admit that I am snapping at my little 9 month old baby.

I am seriously at my wits end. What can I do to get my happy baby back? When we are out, she is her normal social self. It seems when we are here we have problems. And the midnight playing in her crib which wakes me up since she starts shrieking on the monitor is killing me. We were at the ped last Monday and he said although she is teething, she is not close to cutting a tooth (I checked and nothing is close to being there), she had no ear infection and we just increased her reflux meds.

Re: Help please, I am losing my mind-9 month old constantly whining, clingy, crying

Mich Is she like this every time you travel... maybe she is just adjusting.. but if not..hmmmmmm night waking and NOT crying...turn your monitor off. (if you can hear her when she cries..no need to have it on if she is just playing) kwim.
Sounds like separation anxiety though. This is when it usually starts and it's a phase.
Reassure her that you are coming back or "right here" give quick kisses and go about your business. (having someone else hold her etc).

As for snapping.. I hear ya.. I do the same thing.. we just have to count to ten ...

Re: Help please, I am losing my mind-9 month old constantly whining, clingy, crying

i think she is a few weeks behind jessie (2/22/10)

in the last 2 days, my baby has been returned back to me. she was a monster for a month straight. never happy.
now, she is back.
i did night wean her earlier this week and she finally slept last night. before that it was 3 times a night.

good luck

Re: Help please, I am losing my mind-9 month old constantly whining, clingy, crying

Good news is its normal, bad news is she may be like this for a little while. Sounds like typical attachment anxiety. Alexa had it around the same time. Baby carrier time. Throw her on your back to get stuff done. This too shall pass!

Re: Help please, I am losing my mind-9 month old constantly whining, clingy, crying

Izzie is like this sometimes too - just wants mommy (or Daddy if he is home).

I agree with Maria, get a back carrier and schelp her around the house while you get stuff done.

Re: Help please, I am losing my mind-9 month old constantly whining, clingy, crying

Thanks everyone. Guess I will break out the carrier again.

Lin-she has never done this. You know my patience level and she is really wearing me down.

Re: Help please, I am losing my mind-9 month old constantly whining, clingy, crying

Ugh, the whining stage is the worst. Enough to drive us mommies into a loony bin.

Maria gave great advice. Wear her if you can to get some stuff done.

Also, anytime either of my boys were about to hit a major milestone (crawling, walking, talking etc) they were completely thrown off. It's one of those things you have to ride out until they master what they are learning. I wouldn't go to her in the middle of the night because you don't want to start bad habits, so maybe just turn the monitor down a notch to get some decent sleep. You'll hear her regardless if she really starts crying

Re: Help please, I am losing my mind-9 month old constantly whining, clingy, crying

My DD had that phase from 8-9 months. I seriously thought I was going to lose my mind. She was seriously attached to me for the entire month. I called it the lost month because she was so grumpy and unhappy that we didn't take any pictures or do many fun things lol. The only thing that got me through it was knowing a)that it was totally normal and b) that it would eventually pass.. and it did!

Re: Help please, I am losing my mind-9 month old constantly whining, clingy, crying

I don't know if this can help you, or if your dd is going through what my ds was.

DS was so frustrated, whiney all the time. He was grabbing at things he wasn't supposed to, throwing tantrums left and right (yes tantrums, crazy screaming and arching and throwing himself on the floor) I thought all he wanted was to cruise around and he'd be happy. No way, he was so angry with me and I didn't know what to do. Nothing worked.

I ran into a book, called "self-confident baby" by Magda Gerber, I fell in love with the philosophy

Then I found a website run by Janet Landsbury, Elevating Childcare, Parenting Ideas that Fly. She teaches and does work along the same lines. I wrote to her and asked her for advice, it has been like magic. DS out of nowhere decided he was going to crawl, has been happy and playing with nothing but spoons and cups for hours.

Look into it, I don't want to push it, but its really different than a lot of the above advice. I'm happy to talk about it (FM me or whatever). But its very different advice than "just carry your baby around" and I don't want to ruffle feathers.

This was one of my letters to her:
Babies Learn Through Frustration

And that was a few days ago. And reading I feel like we've even gotten better!


eta: my advice, is give her a safe place to play during the day and leave her a lone to play. Its important she have her time alone, as well as you have your time alone. Its important she learns skills at her own pace and at her own initiative.

Message edited 12/15/2010 11:10:35 AM.

Re: Help please, I am losing my mind-9 month old constantly whining, clingy, crying

Re: Help please, I am losing my mind-9 month old constantly whining, clingy, crying

did you relocate back to NY?? or just in NY for a period of time. maybe its all the getting used to her surroundings; maybe she's teething. could be lots of things.

DS has been a whiny beast for 2 days now. he's an angel when we are out. im tempted to just take him outside today in the freezing cold all bundled up just so he can play and be happy. im desperate...

Re: Help please, I am losing my mind-9 month old constantly whining, clingy, crying

My DS was like that last week all day-crawling around the house following me. Couldn't even brush my teeth, make dinner, etc. Brutal. Now this week he is fine. He just cut his 2nd tooth over the weekend. I think it's just teething.