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What is the etiquette about bringing a baby to a wake/funeral?

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johnsae
Sip.

Member since 3/06

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What is the etiquette about bringing a baby to a wake/funeral?

We just found out that DH's friends' brother died in a freak accident snowboarding in Breckenridge Chat Icon Chat Icon

Funeral is probably Thursday or Friday and I don't have anyone to watch DD who is 7 months old. What is the etiquette about this? Is it totally off limits to bring a baby? If she fussed at all I would certainly bring her out to the car or something....just not sure how to go about this...tia!

Posted 1/21/08 11:49 AM
 
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Palebride
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Member since 5/05

13459 total posts

Name:
Lori

Re: What is the etiquette about bringing a baby to a wake/funeral?

When my grandfather died in October, we brought the baby to everything.
It was helpful because it's such a sad thing....but babies make people happy.
I, personally, like having babies at wakes and funerals. It takes your mind off of the sadness of the event.

Posted 1/21/08 11:52 AM
 

InShock
life is good

Member since 10/06

9158 total posts

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Re: What is the etiquette about bringing a baby to a wake/funeral?

Sorry for that family's loss. Chat Icon

We recently brought DD (almost 7 mos.) to a wake. However, it was for a 90+ year old woman, so of course the situation was a little different (not as somber and tragic of an occasion as your situation).
I say you can bring her, just keep her in the back. Also, I assume the place will be packed, so you probably won't be staying too long as I imagine your DD will become overwhelmed (and you, too!).

Message edited 1/21/2008 11:52:52 AM.

Posted 1/21/08 11:52 AM
 

shellybean
Love my Baby Boy!

Member since 4/07

5191 total posts

Name:
mich

Re: What is the etiquette about bringing a baby to a wake/funeral?

i have def. seen babies at funerals....a oot of timed they go in and then usually stand in the lobby chatting with friends....but they are there

Posted 1/21/08 11:52 AM
 

Porrruss
Nya nya nya

Member since 5/05

11590 total posts

Name:
Amy

Re: What is the etiquette about bringing a baby to a wake/funeral?

I have always seen babies and toddlers at wakes as a comfort. You can't help but smile seeing a baby.

Bring her, and just leave the room if she fusses.

So sorry for your lossChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 1/21/08 11:53 AM
 

mommy2bella
Where does time go?

Member since 12/05

9747 total posts

Name:
Kelly

Re: What is the etiquette about bringing a baby to a wake/funeral?

we brought Bella to a wake at 3 months. It was for friend's father who had passed. We stayed in the back and only stayed a bit and then we left. She did seem to bring some joy to a sad time.

But, my cousin passed away from cancer in July and I kept Bella (now 2) away from all of it except the luncheon after the funeral...and there she was a uplifting welcome to the family and my Dad specifically.
ETA: sorry for the sudden lossChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Message edited 1/21/2008 11:56:58 AM.

Posted 1/21/08 11:56 AM
 

smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!

Member since 5/06

32260 total posts

Name:
me

Re: What is the etiquette about bringing a baby to a wake/funeral?

You can bring her. Just leave when she starts fussing.

Nobody will say anything about a baby at a wake/funeral.

Posted 1/21/08 11:57 AM
 

Shelly
She's 7!!!

Member since 8/05

14611 total posts

Name:

Re: What is the etiquette about bringing a baby to a wake/funeral?

It depends on the kind of wake. I have only be to 3 wakes. one was very social. People were talking. (More like a shiva to me). There I owuld have brought DD.

The other two were very somber. I once thought about bringing Jordana to a wake, but was SO glad I didn't. It would have been totally inappropriate. It was for my building's super and it was silent besides his widow weeping on the coffin.

Posted 1/21/08 11:58 AM
 

Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses

Member since 5/05

15838 total posts

Name:

Re: What is the etiquette about bringing a baby to a wake/funeral?

I think the circumstances of the death and age of the person have a lot to do with the atmosphere of the wake.

If the person is very elderly and/or sick for a long time, I hate to say it but the wake, while still awfully sad, are often less tragic than a younger person dying in a freak accident. Just from my experience.

Often, the younger the person, sometimes hundreds of people may be there. I've been to a few where you could hear a pin drop due to everyone being in such shock. I think I'd stay home and not bring a baby to one under such circumstances.

Posted 1/21/08 12:06 PM
 

LuvMy2Girls
@>---------

Member since 5/05

11165 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: What is the etiquette about bringing a baby to a wake/funeral?

Posted by Palebride

When my grandfather died in October, we brought the baby to everything.
It was helpful because it's such a sad thing....but babies make people happy.
I, personally, like having babies at wakes and funerals. It takes your mind off of the sadness of the event.



We did the same when my grandfather passed away in Sept 07 and I totally agree with the aboveChat Icon

So sorry for your lossChat Icon

Posted 1/21/08 12:12 PM
 

LisaI
Momma's Little Beans

Member since 1/06

3922 total posts

Name:

Re: What is the etiquette about bringing a baby to a wake/funeral?

sorry for the loss.

With DD, she has been to several funerals unfortunetly before she was even 2.

While a baby at a friends I stayed in the lobby and watched services from a window.
While at a family (grandmother and Uncle's) funeral. We were invovled and stayed the entire times for all services.

I am one not to bring children to funerals (babies/infants fine), but when it's family and they insist...

Posted 1/21/08 12:39 PM
 

pinky
Twin Moms Do Everything Twice

Member since 5/05

9467 total posts

Name:

Re: What is the etiquette about bringing a baby to a wake/funeral?

Posted by Palebride

When my grandfather died in October, we brought the baby to everything.
It was helpful because it's such a sad thing....but babies make people happy.
I, personally, like having babies at wakes and funerals. It takes your mind off of the sadness of the event.



same here, we brought the kids to my grandmothers wake & funeral and it definitely lightened the mood.

Posted 1/21/08 1:14 PM
 

lullabella
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

2246 total posts

Name:

Re: What is the etiquette about bringing a baby to a wake/funeral?

That is so horrible.

I wouldn't bring the baby for a few reasons. Mainly, since he is so young there will likely be alot of people there and I don't think I would want to expose my child considering it is winter and everyone is sick.

Posted 1/21/08 1:27 PM
 

Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!

Member since 10/05

29450 total posts

Name:
Diana

Re: What is the etiquette about bringing a baby to a wake/funeral?

I personally think it depends on how close you are to the family.

When it's a family member that passes away then I def. see brining the babies. If it's a close friend then I also would bring it. If it's a distant sort of friend - then maybe not.

Either way - I am so sorry for your loss - that is terrible.

Posted 1/21/08 1:34 PM
 

Stacey1403
Where it all began....

Member since 5/05

24065 total posts

Name:

Re: What is the etiquette about bringing a baby to a wake/funeral?

We brought Jaidyn to the wake/funeral for my MIL when she passed. She was very good and if she fussed I just took her out in the hallway. A lot of funeral parlors have rooms for children too.
So sorry for your lossChat Icon

Posted 1/21/08 1:40 PM
 

Sweets13
Bella Bambini

Member since 5/05

9300 total posts

Name:

Re: What is the etiquette about bringing a baby to a wake/funeral?

Call the funeral home and ask if they have an area for children. DH's grandmother passed last week and we brought DS for about an hour until my parents came. The funeral home we were at had a sound proof play room!
Sorry for your lossChat Icon

Posted 1/21/08 7:23 PM
 

2BEANS
wow time is going fast.

Member since 9/07

16106 total posts

Name:
Tina

Re: What is the etiquette about bringing a baby to a wake/funeral?

for my moms funeral my neice was there she was 1 at time.

I have to go to a funeral for a coworker who just past on friday and i was discussing with my other coworkers how im not sure ill have a babysitter, and they didnt think it would be right for me to bring her.. They said something about her life just beginning and the coworkers ending..Chat Icon not really sure what point they meant by that... but that just told me i would have to hear there stupid comments another day, so im going to see if i can find a family member to watch her for me..

Posted 1/21/08 7:48 PM
 

Karen
Just chillin'!!

Member since 1/06

9690 total posts

Name:
Karen

Re: What is the etiquette about bringing a baby to a wake/funeral?

Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH

I think the circumstances of the death and age of the person have a lot to do with the atmosphere of the wake.

If the person is very elderly and/or sick for a long time, I hate to say it but the wake, while still awfully sad, are often less tragic than a younger person dying in a freak accident. Just from my experience.

Often, the younger the person, sometimes hundreds of people may be there. I've been to a few where you could hear a pin drop due to everyone being in such shock. I think I'd stay home and not bring a baby to one under such circumstances.



I 100% agree with this.

Personally, I would not bring the baby.

Posted 1/21/08 8:25 PM
 
 

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