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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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My 81 year old aunt- i need guidance- i need to find her a new doctor
I need some help.
Long story short, my 81 year old aunt had an episode of bells palsy that happened in May that affected her eye and mouth. It has not resolved itself. She's had a few eye procedures and it's not looking good (her eyelid wouldn't close).
Anyway since then her health has deteriorated a lot. She was getting super confused. On Christmas i had an ambulance take her to the hospital (she is in FL). Then she went into rehab but is not making any improvements (not a fan of the rehab facility in the least bit). She got covid while in the rehab but was one of the lucky ones and no symptoms. She's getting discharged at the end of the month and i'm flying down the day before to stay with her for a bit.
I am not a fan of her primary doctor. I want to get a 2nd opinion and i also want to take her to the neurologist. But i don't know where to begin.
I will be in FL for 10 days so i'm trying to make the most of my time. So if i can get her in with one of them, i want to be fully loaded. I am her power of attorney and health care proxy. Do i call the hospital and ask for her recent blookwork and mri? Do i call her regular doctor and ask for her file (which i'm sure is rather large)?
11 months ago we took her on a cruise with us for her 80th birthday. Perfectly healthy. Now i just don't understand what happened and Bells Palsy wouldn't have affected her memory. In rehab, she's barely lucid. 1 out of every 12 calls she's a tiny bit lucid. The past few days she's not really eating. I just feel like something is wrong that they haven't found and her primary is an a*s! I feel like he tucked her away in that elderly box and hasn't given it a second thought.
I also don't know where to get recommendations on who would be a good primary or a good neurologist down there.
If anyone has any advice, i'd appreciate it. Thank you!
Message edited 1/20/2021 12:59:24 PM.
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Posted 1/20/21 12:53 PM  |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: My 81 year old aunt- i need guidance- i need to find her a new doctor
I’m so sorry. She’s very lucky to have you to take care of her.
I would start with google. checking reviews on geriatric drs. I would get her most recent medical records, so the hospital stuff would suffice. I found my personal drs by checking who was in my insurance plan and then checking online reviews and checking with local FB groups. So find a few names, look up reviews and then join FB groups based on the town(s) the drs are located and put up some posts. My preference has always been a DO. I find them to be more compassionate and treat the patient as a whole and not just as a test result. My mom is 81 and her drs are all DOs and she feels (as well as my sister) very confident in her care with them. They listen to her no matter how much she repeats, etc.
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| Posted 1/20/21 2:08 AM |
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Mill188
LIF Adult
Member since 3/09 3072 total posts
Name:
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Re: My 81 year old aunt- i need guidance- i need to find her a new doctor
I'll echo it - she is very luck to have someone to look out for her.
Does she live in a development? Do you know any of her neighbors/friends? If she lives in a retirement community and you know some of her friends, I would try to reach out to them and see if they have any recommendations for a doctor. I find word of mouth to be great for something like that.
Lots of luck. I'm sure it's very stressful for you to be far away and trying to handle this.
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| Posted 1/20/21 2:27 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: My 81 year old aunt- i need guidance- i need to find her a new doctor
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
I’m so sorry. She’s very lucky to have you to take care of her.
I would start with google. checking reviews on geriatric drs. I would get her most recent medical records, so the hospital stuff would suffice. I found my personal drs by checking who was in my insurance plan and then checking online reviews and checking with local FB groups. So find a few names, look up reviews and then join FB groups based on the town(s) the drs are located and put up some posts. My preference has always been a DO. I find them to be more compassionate and treat the patient as a whole and not just as a test result. My mom is 81 and her drs are all DOs and she feels (as well as my sister) very confident in her care with them. They listen to her no matter how much she repeats, etc.
what is a DO?
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| Posted 1/20/21 7:47 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: My 81 year old aunt- i need guidance- i need to find her a new doctor
Posted by Mill188
I'll echo it - she is very luck to have someone to look out for her.
Does she live in a development? Do you know any of her neighbors/friends? If she lives in a retirement community and you know some of her friends, I would try to reach out to them and see if they have any recommendations for a doctor. I find word of mouth to be great for something like that.
Lots of luck. I'm sure it's very stressful for you to be far away and trying to handle this.
She lives in a development, yes. Not an assisted living development. I've actually been gathering info for in home services and assisted living places just in case. I think she may need assisted living but I don't want to jump the gun until I can see with my own eyes. It's been a rollercoaster for sure.
I did reach out to one of her friends and got a name. I have asked a few other of her friends, but nothing yet.
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| Posted 1/20/21 7:49 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: My 81 year old aunt- i need guidance- i need to find her a new doctor
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
I’m so sorry. She’s very lucky to have you to take care of her.
I would start with google. checking reviews on geriatric drs. I would get her most recent medical records, so the hospital stuff would suffice. I found my personal drs by checking who was in my insurance plan and then checking online reviews and checking with local FB groups. So find a few names, look up reviews and then join FB groups based on the town(s) the drs are located and put up some posts. My preference has always been a DO. I find them to be more compassionate and treat the patient as a whole and not just as a test result. My mom is 81 and her drs are all DOs and she feels (as well as my sister) very confident in her care with them. They listen to her no matter how much she repeats, etc.
what is a DO?
Dr of Osteopathic Medicine
MDs generally focus on treating specific conditions with medication. DOs, on the other hand, tend to focus on whole-body healing, with or without traditional medication. They generally have a stronger holistic approach and have been trained with additional hours of hands-on techniques.
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| Posted 1/20/21 8:33 PM |
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Jenn
LIF Zygote
Member since 5/05 34 total posts
Name:
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Re: My 81 year old aunt- i need guidance- i need to find her a new doctor
I am so sorry you are going through this. It is so stressful to care for an out-of-state family member. I have been dealing with this since last year. My family member had/has a catastrophic illness and was not able to take care of themselves within a very short amount of time. We found a "geriatric care manager" and hired her by the week (overall I think I needed her for 3 weeks maybe?)...I think it was a little bit pricey but definitely worth it. I felt like she was advocating for me and my family when I couldn't be there. She had us focus on what we needed to do next and how to figure out a plan for patient care. She acted as a liaison with the hospital for rehab placement, recommended senior care facilities if we wanted, and helped us get in touch with companies to clean out the apartment even visited my family member to reassure them that we were not abandoning them (dementia too). She helped with so many things... In my case, we moved my family member up here for placement in a care facility closer to the rest of my family and she helped organize transportation from NC to NY. HTH. let me know if I can do anything to help, I know this seems so overwhelming.
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| Posted 1/21/21 12:48 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: My 81 year old aunt- i need guidance- i need to find her a new doctor
Posted by Jenn
I am so sorry you are going through this. It is so stressful to care for an out-of-state family member. I have been dealing with this since last year. My family member had/has a catastrophic illness and was not able to take care of themselves within a very short amount of time. We found a "geriatric care manager" and hired her by the week (overall I think I needed her for 3 weeks maybe?)...I think it was a little bit pricey but definitely worth it. I felt like she was advocating for me and my family when I couldn't be there. She had us focus on what we needed to do next and how to figure out a plan for patient care. She acted as a liaison with the hospital for rehab placement, recommended senior care facilities if we wanted, and helped us get in touch with companies to clean out the apartment even visited my family member to reassure them that we were not abandoning them (dementia too). She helped with so many things... In my case, we moved my family member up here for placement in a care facility closer to the rest of my family and she helped organize transportation from NC to NY. HTH. let me know if I can do anything to help, I know this seems so overwhelming.
do you mind me asking how much the geriatric care manager was?
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| Posted 1/21/21 1:26 AM |
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Jenn
LIF Zygote
Member since 5/05 34 total posts
Name:
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Re: My 81 year old aunt- i need guidance- i need to find her a new doctor
Sure! I think it was $1000.00 but we needed a lot of help. No prior proxy etc set up so she had a lot of leg work to do for us.
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| Posted 1/21/21 1:51 AM |
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Jenn
LIF Zygote
Member since 5/05 34 total posts
Name:
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Re: My 81 year old aunt- i need guidance- i need to find her a new doctor
Just sent you an FM
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| Posted 1/21/21 1:58 AM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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Re: My 81 year old aunt- i need guidance- i need to find her a new doctor
Posted by Jenn
I am so sorry you are going through this. It is so stressful to care for an out-of-state family member. I have been dealing with this since last year. My family member had/has a catastrophic illness and was not able to take care of themselves within a very short amount of time. We found a "geriatric care manager" and hired her by the week (overall I think I needed her for 3 weeks maybe?)...I think it was a little bit pricey but definitely worth it. I felt like she was advocating for me and my family when I couldn't be there. She had us focus on what we needed to do next and how to figure out a plan for patient care. She acted as a liaison with the hospital for rehab placement, recommended senior care facilities if we wanted, and helped us get in touch with companies to clean out the apartment even visited my family member to reassure them that we were not abandoning them (dementia too). She helped with so many things... In my case, we moved my family member up here for placement in a care facility closer to the rest of my family and she helped organize transportation from NC to NY. HTH. let me know if I can do anything to help, I know this seems so overwhelming.
+1 on the GCM!
FL is not the greatest when it comes to services for seniors, which is mind blowing considering the number of seniors that live there! most of my family retired there, and did not have good experiences with health care when the chips were down. A GCM will help tremendously.
good luck and she sure is blessed to have you!
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| Posted 1/22/21 4:35 PM |
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