My Mom's Stone Is Finally At The Cemetary

My dad got a call the other day that the stone for my mom's grave is finally down. I am glad but very sad at the same time. I have gone to the cemetary many times since my mom has passed away but there has been nothing there but a picture of her that I left. Now, when I go (which will be Sun) there will be a stone. I am ok going there and while I am there but when I start to leave is when I lose it. I am so glad that DH is so strong and supportive for me. It has been 3 1/2 months since my mom has passed.

Oh Lisa.

I remember that in between period for my mom as well. Seeing the stone is both comforting and sad at the same time. I am sending you many

Seeing this post has made me realize I haven't seen my mom in awhile. I feel a little bad about that.

Message edited 6/23/2006 11:59:48 AM.

Kathleen, thanks for the response. I am glad that there are so many girls in the same boat as me so that I am not going through this alone. Knowing that the her stone is there actually makes it real. I just can not believe that she is not here anymore. I called my dad's house the other day and his answering machine (which has not worked in months) was working and my mom's voice is on it. When I heard her, I started to cry at work.

It is so hard. I really feel for you as I know you losed your mom recently. I think it is, however, a very good thing to grieve. I know it is only recently that I am starting to come to terms with my emotions and my mom has been gone since the beginning of 99'. I never really handled it properly. I guess my whole point is that, even years later, I still have my days. Almost as it was yesterday.

On a positive note, it is amazing how much you will keep your mom with you. You will be empowered in more ways that you imagine. I really believe that, to this day, there are certain things I wouldn't have been able to get through without the help of my mom. There are also things I never thought I would accomplish without her looking over me.

Thanks Kathleen for the wonderful words. I just wish my mom was here to see my little being born in 6 weeks.

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Posted by nylisa


Thanks Kathleen for the wonderful words. I just wish my mom was here to see my little being born in 6 weeks.

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I can not wait to meet him. My mom is going to be his guardian angel

I remember that feelign as well! My mom died in November and we didnt get teh stone set until the following spring. I used to be paniced that someone would think she was unloved because she didnt have a headstone, so I would bring stuff to decorate all the time. I thought seeing the headstone there would be conforting but it was tough as well! My brother couldnt go for awhile after the headstone went in because it became too real for him! and my other brother wanted nothing to do with the picking out of teh stone again because it made it too real!

No matter what we do the whole experience is very tough!!

I thought seeing my Mom's name on the stone would upset me more- but it was ok

the thing that freaked me out was my Grandma name's ( who is still alive) it's a family plot and my Grandpa is there with my Mom
it's nice that they are together

Thanks everyone for your support and comfort with this.

I am beside myself right now. My mom's best friend went yesterday to see my mom's stone and where we all thought my mother was, was not my mother. My mother was one row up from where we put stuff (pic, flowers, etc.). The funeral parlor was suppose to mark in the dirt where my mother was and since they never did that, we had to figure it out ourselves and we were wrong. I can not believe that for the last 3 months I have been going to someone elses grave and my mom has been alone with nothing.

Message edited 6/23/2006 4:32:46 PM.

Oh Lisa.... I am so sorry .

Lisa, I am so sorry for you. Your mom's spirit was in that place and gave you comfort, so maybe you can think of it as 2 souls that were comforted by your visits instead of one.



I lost my mom and dad the same year. I saw my mom's name on the stone at my dad's funeral and saw my dad's name when I put my bridal bouquet there 8 years after he died. It was sort of weird, sort of comforting. I saw my mom's name while I was still sort of in shock and saw my dad's with my brand new DH by my side, so it was a bittersweet, unusual moment.

I don't really visit the cemetary because I find more comfort at church or talking with people who knew them. My DH likes to go, because he feels very connected to his parents there. I think the first time you see it, it might be hard, but after that, I think you'll be OK with seeing her name and knowing she is memorialized in that place and you can go and be with her and your memories anytime you want.

Message edited 6/23/2006 9:19:34 PM.

I find some of my best peace at the cemetery. I can talk to her there and it makes me feel close to her. We just recently buried my brother there with her. Helps me to know they are together.

I remember when my mom's stone went up. It kind of gave me a little bit of peace. It makes feel good to go and plant flowers there. I put balloons for her bithday etc. I feel like I'm still able to do something for her. I miss her so much.

Thanks girls. Well, DH & I went yesterday to the cemetary and I was ok when I first got there but after I few minutes I lost it. I am so glad that DH is so strong for me to hold onto. I know that he misses my mom too since they were so close. We stayed a little while and then I needed to leave and I broke down and cried again. I know that it is only 14 weeks since my mom passed away and it should get easier with time but I just can not believe that she is no longer here.

It's been such a short time for you Lisa, you are still grieving. I found that for me, the void never completely went away, but it did get easier. Lean on your DH when you need him, I find that helps a lot!

You are going to have so much joy in your life soon with your little one arriving - I hope you can find comfort in that as well

I am so sorry lisa.



Remember she is watching over you.

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Posted by nylisa

I know that it is only 14 weeks since my mom passed away and it should get easier with time but I just can not believe that she is no longer here.

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