| Posted By |
Message |
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| HeathKernandez |
Posted by MrsFab
Posted by KeithHernandez
This is where I am confused. NFR is a NON FAMILY RELATED board... where most of my 'non parent' LIF friends hang out.
Actually *I* hang out there more, b/c to be honest I dont have much in common with anyone on the parenting board b/c my kid is almost in college 
I thought this board was for people who just never wanted children to express their frustrations and experiences?
If you are going to have children eventually, why not just post on NFR?
(I don't mean this to criticize...I'm honestly confused b/c I see a BIG difference btwn those who don't have kids YET and those who don't want kids)
you know?
my opinion- nfr stands for not family related- I consider DH and I a family- at some point we will add to that family (hopefully) but nevertheless, I feel like this board has the potential to address things that relate to our relationship as it stands now.
but then, wouldn't that be 'relationships?'
hahaha you know?
I know this board was spawn from the conversation about people who were childless by choice, which is where my confusion lies. (lies? lay?)
Posted 3/10/09 2:36 PM
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| colette |
I can just imagine the  had anyone tried to offer an alternate view. Honestly that's a bit disingenuous. Please don't think I'm offended by it, I really don't get offended by anything on LIF (nor did I on LIW) really, I'm just pointing out that a simple pronoun can make a world of difference...
Posted 3/10/09 2:38 PM
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| HeathKernandez |
Posted by Ophelia
I think it's funny that NOT one of the "mothers' that got upset with me instead tried to comfort me, or assuage my fears about pregnancy, since I thought I made my love and wonderment of childbearing just as clear as my fears of it.
OMG I TOTALLY WAS GOING TO... but then I thought it would sound too snarky b/c I was griping about the identity loss comment and didn't want to cause any more trouble than I already have.
Posted 3/10/09 2:38 PM
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| skinny |
Posted by KeithHernandez
Posted by MrsFab
Posted by KeithHernandez
This is where I am confused. NFR is a NON FAMILY RELATED board... where most of my 'non parent' LIF friends hang out.
Actually *I* hang out there more, b/c to be honest I dont have much in common with anyone on the parenting board b/c my kid is almost in college
I thought this board was for people who just never wanted children to express their frustrations and experiences?
If you are going to have children eventually, why not just post on NFR?
(I don't mean this to criticize...I'm honestly confused b/c I see a BIG difference btwn those who don't have kids YET and those who don't want kids)
you know?
my opinion- nfr stands for not family related- I consider DH and I a family- at some point we will add to that family (hopefully) but nevertheless, I feel like this board has the potential to address things that relate to our relationship as it stands now.
but then, wouldn't that be 'relationships?'
hahaha you know?
I know this board was spawn from the conversation about people who were childless by choice, which is where my confusion lies. (lies? lay?)
Not necessarily. I consider DH and I to be our own family and there are things specific to a family of 2 that wouldn't necessarily fit on the other boards. Personally, I think it's nice to have a place for "Families of 2."
Posted 3/10/09 2:42 PM
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| Ophelia |
Posted by colette
I can just imagine the had anyone tried to offer an alternate view. Honestly that's a bit disingenuous. Please don't think I'm offended by it, I really don't get offended by anything on LIF (nor did I on LIW) really, I'm just pointing out that a simple pronoun can make a world of difference...
I think it's a bit much for you to presume you know me at all enough to assume I am being disingenuous.
I guess I could have used a pronoun, but it just wasn't how my thoughts came out.
now....for the snark...next time, I'll fm you a draft for review. 
I am not really a rolleyes kind of girl. but again, you don't know me well enough to assume that either.
Posted 3/10/09 2:42 PM
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| BaseballWidow |
Posted by KeithHernandez
but then, wouldn't that be 'relationships?'
hahaha you know?
I know this board was spawn from the conversation about people who were childless by choice, which is where my confusion lies. (lies? lay?)
But relationships board often has extended family issues and issues with our parents/in-laws, so not just for "childless families"
Just for the record, I know for a fact that this board's concept was talked about a while ago by someone NOT childless by choice and it just seems like it took hearing from a lot of people to get it up and running.
Posted 3/10/09 2:44 PM
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| Ophelia |
Posted by KeithHernandez
Posted by Ophelia
I think it's funny that NOT one of the "mothers' that got upset with me instead tried to comfort me, or assuage my fears about pregnancy, since I thought I made my love and wonderment of childbearing just as clear as my fears of it.
OMG I TOTALLY WAS GOING TO... but then I thought it would sound too snarky b/c I was griping about the identity loss comment and didn't want to cause any more trouble than I already have.
you know me...if I think it's snarky, I just fm you to confirm  
pep talks work wonders. 
Posted 3/10/09 2:44 PM
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| greenfreak |
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by DonnaJoe708
I agree with Stephanie. Why can't we just support one another regardless of whether or not we have children?
you can't. b/c you can't have feelings that are contrary or "offensive" to someone else and express them.
I think it's funny that NOT one of the "mothers' that got upset with me instead tried to comfort me, or assuage my fears about pregnancy, since I thought I made my love and wonderment of childbearing just as clear as my fears of it.
but instead, people took it to heart, got offended...and of course, I am mean unfeeling and whatever else.
You know as well as I do, when someone feels defensive, their first instinct is not to comfort the person that made them feel that way.
I was with you until the end with the comment about husbands not seeing their wives the same way again. I can see where that would upset someone. You really can't see how that could be taken personally?
Just as you want them to see past their initial reaction, so should we. We should consider that maybe if it had been worded differently, it wouldn't have caused an uproar. If that's not your style and you feel like you're censoring yourself, that's your right to post what you want. But you will get varying reactions to that, and you have to expect that also.
And at this point, it's affecting everyone here, an entire brand-new board that we're all thankful for. Differing opinions or not, this will turn into a Childless by Choice versus Parenting debacle if we let this continue.
Can't we all just get along?
Posted 3/10/09 2:45 PM
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| BJandDan |
Posted by KeithHernandez
If you are going to have children eventually, why not just post on NFR?
IMO this wouldn't go over so well on NFR or Parenting or Relationships KWIM?
Posted 3/10/09 2:48 PM
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| HeathKernandez |
Posted by greenfreak
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by DonnaJoe708
I agree with Stephanie. Why can't we just support one another regardless of whether or not we have children?
you can't. b/c you can't have feelings that are contrary or "offensive" to someone else and express them.
I think it's funny that NOT one of the "mothers' that got upset with me instead tried to comfort me, or assuage my fears about pregnancy, since I thought I made my love and wonderment of childbearing just as clear as my fears of it.
but instead, people took it to heart, got offended...and of course, I am mean unfeeling and whatever else.
You know as well as I do, when someone feels defensive, their first instinct is not to comfort the person that made them feel that way.
I was with you until the end with the comment about husbands not seeing their wives the same way again. I can see where that would upset someone. You really can't see how that could be taken personally?
Just as you want them to see past their initial reaction, so should we. We should consider that maybe if it had been worded differently, it wouldn't have caused an uproar. If that's not your style and you feel like you're censoring yourself, that's your right to post what you want. But you will get varying reactions to that, and you have to expect that also.
And at this point, it's affecting everyone here, an entire brand-new board that we're all thankful for. Differing opinions or not, this will turn into a Childless by Choice versus Parenting debacle if we let this continue.
Can't we all just get along?
You know, there was an interesting conversation on the radio about this. The DJs were talking about how after a husband watches his wife give birth, how could he ever see her as an attractive woman etc etc. And while I thought it was a RIDICULOUS THOUGHT, I *could* see where they were coming from.
I guess, for many husbands, they look beyond that and see the beauty in that their wives just gave them a child and I couldn't imagine a husband not loving her 1000 times more because of it..
Now with that SAID, I am in NO MEANS saying that husbands of wives who don't have children don't love them like this... I just feel like I need to make that disclaimer... lol
Posted 3/10/09 2:50 PM
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| Ophelia |
Posted by greenfreak
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by DonnaJoe708
I agree with Stephanie. Why can't we just support one another regardless of whether or not we have children?
you can't. b/c you can't have feelings that are contrary or "offensive" to someone else and express them.
I think it's funny that NOT one of the "mothers' that got upset with me instead tried to comfort me, or assuage my fears about pregnancy, since I thought I made my love and wonderment of childbearing just as clear as my fears of it.
but instead, people took it to heart, got offended...and of course, I am mean unfeeling and whatever else.
You know as well as I do, when someone feels defensive, their first instinct is not to comfort the person that made them feel that way.
I was with you until the end with the comment about husbands not seeing their wives the same way again. I can see where that would upset someone. You really can't see how that could be taken personally?
Just as you want them to see past their initial reaction, so should we. We should consider that maybe if it had been worded differently, it wouldn't have caused an uproar. If that's not your style and you feel like you're censoring yourself, that's your right to post what you want. But you will get varying reactions to that, and you have to expect that also.
And at this point, it's affecting everyone here, an entire brand-new board that we're all thankful for. Differing opinions or not, this will turn into a Childless by Choice versus Parenting debacle if we let this continue.
Can't we all just get along?
I apologized for hurting anyone.
but really...no one fm'd me..nothing. I am not an unreasonable person. I put forth my argument in a reasonable way, WITH a sincere apology. and I would fm anyone on this thread that was hurt by it b/c that was NOT my intention.
If it's MY post that is ruining this board for everyone else, I will gladly take it down. again, not my intention. at all.
Posted 3/10/09 2:52 PM
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| karenk71 |
Posted by BaseballWidow
Posted by KeithHernandez
but then, wouldn't that be 'relationships?'
hahaha you know?
I know this board was spawn from the conversation about people who were childless by choice, which is where my confusion lies. (lies? lay?)
But relationships board often has extended family issues and issues with our parents/in-laws, so not just for "childless families"
Just for the record, I know for a fact that this board's concept was talked about a while ago by someone NOT childless by choice and it just seems like it took hearing from a lot of people to get it up and running.
I agree...I am childless NOT by choice and thought this would be a safe place to deal with it, whether it was for the moment or forever.
I don't understand why we need to explain this any further. There is obviously a need for this board, although in my case I wish there wasn't.
Posted 3/10/09 2:54 PM
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| greenfreak |
I've actually seen births, and I actually cried. Sure, not all husbands would react that way, and a lot of them might remember that for a while, but I would hope that they would get past it. If anything, I'd hope it was more of a "Look what pain and suffering she went through for our child. I better give her LOTS of oral pleasure to make up for it!"
Posted 3/10/09 2:57 PM
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| greenfreak |
Posted by Ophelia
I apologized for hurting anyone.
but really...no one fm'd me..nothing. I am not an unreasonable person. I put forth my argument in a reasonable way, WITH a sincere apology. and I would fm anyone on this thread that was hurt by it b/c that was NOT my intention.
If it's MY post that is ruining this board for everyone else, I will gladly take it down. again, not my intention. at all.
A serious, completely non-sarcastic
If I was p*ssed at something you said publicly, I wouldn't go so far to send an FM. I'd try to settle it publicly first, in the hopes the other po'd people would follow along and also be satisfied with the resolution, you know?
Posted 3/10/09 3:05 PM
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| BJandDan |
Posted by greenfreak
I better give her LOTS of oral pleasure to make up for it!"
Posted 3/10/09 3:10 PM
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| MrsFab |
Posted by KeithHernandez
Posted by MrsFab
Posted by KeithHernandez
This is where I am confused. NFR is a NON FAMILY RELATED board... where most of my 'non parent' LIF friends hang out.
Actually *I* hang out there more, b/c to be honest I dont have much in common with anyone on the parenting board b/c my kid is almost in college
I thought this board was for people who just never wanted children to express their frustrations and experiences?
If you are going to have children eventually, why not just post on NFR?
(I don't mean this to criticize...I'm honestly confused b/c I see a BIG difference btwn those who don't have kids YET and those who don't want kids)
you know?
my opinion- nfr stands for not family related- I consider DH and I a family- at some point we will add to that family (hopefully) but nevertheless, I feel like this board has the potential to address things that relate to our relationship as it stands now.
but then, wouldn't that be 'relationships?'
hahaha you know?
I know this board was spawn from the conversation about people who were childless by choice, which is where my confusion lies. (lies? lay?)
not to beat a dead horse- but marriage equals a family. While a relationship can be my mother, father, sister, friend, boss, etc. I just think its different, I dont know!
Message edited 3/10/2009 3:41:03 PM.
Posted 3/10/09 3:40 PM
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| mrswask |
I missed all the GOOD stuff - I always do - anyone - feel free to catch me up via FM However, if the drama took off based on what I think it did - duhhhh - those are some of the reasons I am still childless. I am terrified of losing my own identity and only having that of a Mom, I am scared of not feeling pretty and sexy anymore - all those are true and how a lot of us feel, so what's there to take offense over?
Posted 3/10/09 3:46 PM
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| ihilani |
I totally missed it all.  If the thread's still here, I can't find it.
Would someone please send me an FM?
Posted 3/10/09 6:38 PM
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| Lizzie217 |
This is where I am confused. NFR is a NON FAMILY RELATED board... where most of my 'non parent' LIF friends hang out.
Actually *I* hang out there more, b/c to be honest I dont have much in common with anyone on the parenting board b/c my kid is almost in college
I thought this board was for people who just never wanted children to express their frustrations and experiences?
If you are going to have children eventually, why not just post on NFR?
(I don't mean this to criticize...I'm honestly confused b/c I see a BIG difference btwn those who don't have kids YET and those who don't want kids)
you know?
The board would be "Childless by Choice" if it were meant for only that group. I, as well as others from what I see, take this board to be just what I currently am, "Childless Family" .This is my interpertation anyway 
Posted 3/10/09 8:12 PM
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| KevinNKristin8-15-08 |
Posted by JennandRolo
I hope it doesnt lead to get this board removed. After lurking for a long time I was glad this board came about.
agreed!!!! To be quite honest..I felt kind of left out from this site..this makes me feel more welcome
Message edited 3/10/2009 10:51:18 PM.
Posted 3/10/09 10:50 PM
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