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Message |
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| Diana1215 |
Posted by anonttcer
Posted by Lisa
Posted by Diana1215
People always lurk on other boards, that's no secret!
Lurk is one thing...Posting is another....
Exactly. Trust me I want to say something SO bad to some of the stuff I see on pregnancy. But it's not my place because you know what, I'm not in that situation so who am I to voice my opinion?
Same thing here...
I for one would love to hear other opinions about Parenting and Pregnancy - from anyone. I truly believe I can learn something from anyone.
I do remember posting on Parenting before being pregnant, because I have 15 nieces and nephews - and if I could contribute something to one of the posts I really didn't think twice about it. I wasn't a regular poster on those boards, but if I did have something to add I would.
Posted 3/10/09 1:44 PM
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| Nifheim |
ugh here we go. My OP:
Public Board read all you want, comment if you like but don't get your panties in a bunch because someone made a stretch mark post or getting fat post or whatever post on a section of the board where people discuss why/what made them choose to be childless now or forever.
Posted 3/10/09 1:46 PM
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| Lisa |
Posted by BJandDan
Posted by Lisa
Posted by Diana1215
People always lurk on other boards, that's no secret!
Lurk is one thing...Posting is another....
I disagree with this. Everyone has an opinion or comment whether they are in that situation or not. I post on Parenting, and I'm not a Parent. I think this site has some of the handsome and prettiest children, so I comment on that. Some people ask about places for parties, so I post about that. I never answer a DIRECT parenting question, but I do post over there. IMO This board is more than open to have parents post over here too. Things will be said that rub people the wrong way. It can happen here, or on Parenting.
When you post on Parenting are posting that they are offending you? That what they are doing is wrong? No you post that their kids are cute or offer help with a party place.
What some people have posted on here is OFFENSIVE to me and they are not be respectful of the members of this board....
Posted 3/10/09 1:46 PM
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| DirtyBlonde |
it's not an easy thing to come out and say to people that you are a childless couple - by choice or not. at all.
my mother seriously thinks that i'm suffering from some kind of mental defect for being completely devoid of any maternal instinct. my MOM. she thinks that MY CHOICE is a judgement on HER choice to have ME and raise me - can you believe that?
if what i post offends people - it is not meant to. if you read this and don't like it - that's not my problem. how anyone decides to live their life is not my concern.
but please understand how often some of US are made to feel horrible for our life choices/paths.
is it going to come down to one board vs. another? because it sounds like that and i'm already  over the idea of it.
Message edited 3/10/2009 1:48:41 PM.
Posted 3/10/09 1:48 PM
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| Lisa |
Posted by Diana1215
Posted by anonttcer
Posted by Lisa
Posted by Diana1215
People always lurk on other boards, that's no secret!
Lurk is one thing...Posting is another....
Exactly. Trust me I want to say something SO bad to some of the stuff I see on pregnancy. But it's not my place because you know what, I'm not in that situation so who am I to voice my opinion?
Same thing here...
I for one would love to hear other opinions about Parenting and Pregnancy - from anyone. I truly believe I can learn something from anyone.
I do remember posting on Parenting before being pregnant, because I have 15 nieces and nephews - and if I could contribute something to one of the posts I really didn't think twice about it. I wasn't a regular poster on those boards, but if I did have something to add I would.
I did post on Paretning once....a long time ago about my niece and got NO reponses....so I never did it again. I got the hint...."you" dont want anyones opinion or help unless they are a parent...thats cool...
Posted 3/10/09 1:48 PM
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| BJandDan |
Posted by Lisa
What some people have posted on here is OFFENSIVE to me and they are not be respectful of the members of this board....
THIS I can understand, your first statement about posting and lurking was very vague. 
Posted 3/10/09 1:51 PM
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| HeathKernandez |
Posted by Lisa
Posted by Diana1215
Posted by anonttcer
Posted by Lisa
Posted by Diana1215
People always lurk on other boards, that's no secret!
Lurk is one thing...Posting is another....
Exactly. Trust me I want to say something SO bad to some of the stuff I see on pregnancy. But it's not my place because you know what, I'm not in that situation so who am I to voice my opinion?
Same thing here...
I for one would love to hear other opinions about Parenting and Pregnancy - from anyone. I truly believe I can learn something from anyone.
I do remember posting on Parenting before being pregnant, because I have 15 nieces and nephews - and if I could contribute something to one of the posts I really didn't think twice about it. I wasn't a regular poster on those boards, but if I did have something to add I would.
I did post on Paretning once....a long time ago about my niece and got NO reponses....so I never did it again. I got the hint...."you" dont want anyones opinion or help unless they are a parent...thats cool...
actually... when I first started posting on parenting I didn't get many responses either, b/c people just didn't know me.
Even now, I don't get many responses over *there* b/c I'm not as active on that board as I am NFR... I have an older kid and most of the posts over there are about babies...
so NO, it's not that people didn't reply to you b/c you're not a parent.
maybe they just didn't like you in general, who knows...
Posted 3/10/09 1:52 PM
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| HeathKernandez |
Posted by anonttcer
Posted by Lisa
Posted by Diana1215
People always lurk on other boards, that's no secret!
Lurk is one thing...Posting is another....
Exactly. Trust me I want to say something SO bad to some of the stuff I see on pregnancy. But it's not my place because you know what, I'm not in that situation so who am I to voice my opinion?
Same thing here...
Hmmm. I understand your point and totally agree with you BUT... when comments are made such as:
"why would I want to have children and lose my identity" you have to understand it's kind of a blanket statement against a population of people on this site in general. So why CAN'T they reply?
do you really think that ALL parents lose their identity? B/c if so... I'm here to inform you that, it's not the case... at least for ME it isn't.
I understand the point of this board and will respect your opinions... A lot of comments made me  but I'm being objective and understanding that they ARE your feelings.
Posted 3/10/09 1:56 PM
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| Ophelia |
Message edited 3/10/2009 3:27:56 PM.
Posted 3/10/09 1:57 PM
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| baghag |
Posted by KeithHernandez
Hmmm. I understand your point and totally agree with you BUT... when comments are made such as:
"why would I want to have children and lose my identity" you have to understand it's kind of a blanket statement against a population of people on this site in general. So why CAN'T they reply?
do you really think that ALL parents lose their identity? B/c if so... I'm here to inform you that, it's not the case... at least for ME it isn't.
I understand the point of this board and will respect your opinions... A lot of comments made me but I'm being objective and understanding that they ARE your feelings.
I can completely understand why you or any parent would have been offended by that statement.
But it was from one poster that definitely does not represent all of our opinions. So please don't take it out on the rest of us.
Posted 3/10/09 2:01 PM
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| Lisa |
Posted by KeithHernandez
maybe they just didn't like you in general, who knows...
maybe but either way it hurts, because I know that I try and help a lot of people in this board....
Posted 3/10/09 2:03 PM
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| Christine |
Posted by KeithHernandez
Hmmm. I understand your point and totally agree with you BUT... when comments are made such as:
"why would I want to have children and lose my identity" you have to understand it's kind of a blanket statement against a population of people on this site in general. So why CAN'T they reply?
do you really think that ALL parents lose their identity? B/c if so... I'm here to inform you that, it's not the case... at least for ME it isn't.
I understand the point of this board and will respect your opinions... A lot of comments made me but I'm being objective and understanding that they ARE your feelings.
On the flip side, there's a thread where we discussed some of the hurtful things said to us about not having children - such as "you must not love your husband" and "you don't know what it's like to love if you don't have children."
These are also cruel blanket statements people make and this forum was created so that people in a childless situation can discuss things like PLUS to bond and gtg and share bulk groceries (lol).
I don't think two wrongs make a right but no one here is saying anything to intentionally hurt anyone. If a parent feels that some of our reasons for not wanting children is directed at them personally, then that's an issue they need to deal with just like we are dealing with ours.
Message edited 3/10/2009 2:03:43 PM.
Posted 3/10/09 2:03 PM
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| HeathKernandez |
Posted by Lisa
Posted by KeithHernandez
maybe they just didn't like you in general, who knows...
maybe but either way it hurts, because I know that I try and help a lot of people in this board....
sorry... i was just being sarcastic and going for a cheap laugh.
Posted 3/10/09 2:06 PM
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| HeathKernandez |
Posted by Christine
Posted by KeithHernandez
Hmmm. I understand your point and totally agree with you BUT... when comments are made such as:
"why would I want to have children and lose my identity" you have to understand it's kind of a blanket statement against a population of people on this site in general. So why CAN'T they reply?
do you really think that ALL parents lose their identity? B/c if so... I'm here to inform you that, it's not the case... at least for ME it isn't.
I understand the point of this board and will respect your opinions... A lot of comments made me but I'm being objective and understanding that they ARE your feelings.
On the flip side, there's a thread where we discussed some of the hurtful things said to us about not having children - such as "you must not love your husband" and "you don't know what it's like to love if you don't have children."
These are also cruel blanket statements people make and this forum was created so that people in a childless situation can discuss things like PLUS to bond and gtg and share bulk groceries (lol).
I don't think two wrongs make a right but no one here is saying anything to intentionally hurt anyone. If a parent feels that some of our reasons for not wanting children is directed at them personally, then that's an issue they need to deal with just like we are dealing with ours.
yeah but if there was a thread ON HERE where someone said 'people who don't have kids must not love their husbands...' THEN it would be a different story.
I understand your intent... I DO. but just like I would NEVER say something that might be hurtful or taken the wrong way towards a population of people on LIF, I think people (all of us) should be weary of comments such as the one I mentioned.
Its a different story if the comment was 'i was told you lose your identity'
but it wasn't ... it was implying that THAT person feels you lose your identity when you have kids.
WHICH IS FINE... That's her opinion... but, she's gotta understand that people are DEFINITELY going to take it the wrong way, b/c she is INDIRECTLY putting them down.
anyway- I don't belong on this board and I will respect ALL of your privacy & opinions...
just wanted to explain where I was coming from...
Posted 3/10/09 2:10 PM
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| skinny |
I'm not a parent  so I don't go to the parenting board. If I do and get offended, that's my own problem bc the board is not geared at where I am right now. If you're not childless, and choose to come here, you're not going to be in the same place as the other posters so u may get offended.
Posted 3/10/09 2:11 PM
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| HeathKernandez |
Posted by baghag
But it was from one poster that definitely does not represent all of our opinions. So please don't take it out on the rest of us.
No worries, I don't... I'd be pretty ignorant if I did...
Posted 3/10/09 2:13 PM
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| greenfreak |
Posted by KeithHernandez
Posted by baghag
But it was from one poster that definitely does not represent all of our opinions. So please don't take it out on the rest of us.
No worries, I don't... I'd be pretty ignorant if I did...
Thank you, I agree.
I really really really REALLY hope that this board doesn't start going down in flames because of sharp words or misunderstandings.
We really need to avoid a board-versus-board mentality because it's just stupid and unnecessary. YES this should be a safe haven for the childless but let's not further the animosity we feel when people judge us, by sounding like we're doing the same thing to others.
We all have vents and frustrations, we can put them out there in a less abrasive way to avoid drama and pulled threads.
I hope this board doesn't get ruined for the rest of us by any of this.
Posted 3/10/09 2:20 PM
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| HeathKernandez |
Posted by greenfreak
Posted by KeithHernandez
Posted by baghag
But it was from one poster that definitely does not represent all of our opinions. So please don't take it out on the rest of us.
No worries, I don't... I'd be pretty ignorant if I did...
Thank you, I agree.
I really really really REALLY hope that this board doesn't start going down in flames because of sharp words or misunderstandings.
We really need to avoid a board-versus-board mentality because it's just stupid and unnecessary. YES this should be a safe haven for the childless but let's not further the animosity we feel when people judge us, by sounding like we're doing the same thing to others.
We all have vents and frustrations, we can put them out there in a less abrasive way to avoid drama and pulled threads.
I hope this board doesn't get ruined for the rest of us by any of this.
Posted 3/10/09 2:23 PM
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| KittyTheStray |
Posted by greenfreak
I hope this board doesn't get ruined for the rest of us by any of this.
I agree.
I do not post or read on TTC or IF ot parenting, because I don't feel like I 'belong there'.
I wanted a place where I can vent/post about MY family situation.
Posted 3/10/09 2:40 PM
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| JessInCA |
This thread is doing just fine without my POV, but I feel compelled to add it anyway.
Maybe it's because I don't have children that I didn't get offended by Ophelia's post, but I thought it was pretty clear that she was addressing her own feelings/thoughts/fears, and not making a blanket statement about the facts of what will happen to all women everywhere.
I don't think anyone should have taken it personally, particularly those for whom this board AND this post were not intended.
And I think the turn this all has taken illustrates exactly why there is a need for this board in the first place.
Posted 3/10/09 3:42 PM
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