For Those

Of you who are have said they feel like they are missing a "female chip" or have thought that they have mental problems.

I have never been a preganacy person, I don't like talking about it, I don't like hearing about dialation and breast feeding. I won't touch a belly and sonogram pictures gross me. People think I am crazy, and even has gone as far to tell me that I am "afraid of intamacy" which Dh can tell you is far far from the case. It makes me feel like I am not a woman or something.

Does any one else understand this - or am I truly crazy.

P.S. I am soo excited for this board - because DH and I are on and off TTC. I refuse to go crazy about TTC, we are taking the if it happens it happens approach. And it may very well not happen, so I will be here unless things change. And yes if I do get a BFP I expect that I will be grinning and bearing my entire pregnancy..... it is just not for me.

Message edited 3/9/2009 3:04:12 PM.

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Posted by irishbaby

DH and I are on and off TTC. I refuse to go crazy about TTC, we are taking the if it happens it happens approach. And it may very well not happen, so I will be here unless things change.


That's how we are - I go so back and forth. As we approach our 5th wedding anniversary, I am really content without children. However, I am going to be 36 this summer and don't want to look back in a few years and have regrets. We are SO back and forth and it's very confusing

 
Posted 3/9/09 3:33 PM

I have always felt like i am missing that gene or a chip is missing.

It is really funny but seeing all of the CBC girls that are popping up - you are all the ones that seem like my friends.

I think this will really be a God send.

I am girly in a few respects - but i often get accused of being "cold". But i am not I am actually pretty emotional but I am reserved about it.

As for the pregnancy thing I am always like why can't it be like when my Grandma was pregnant, no one talked to you about you va jay jay no one talked about their va jay jays at a party or asked you to feel there belly. You just put you i love lucy mumu on and got on with it.

Message edited 3/9/2009 4:06:47 PM.

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Posted by mrswask

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Posted by irishbaby

DH and I are on and off TTC. I refuse to go crazy about TTC, we are taking the if it happens it happens approach. And it may very well not happen, so I will be here unless things change.


That's how we are - I go so back and forth. As we approach our 5th wedding anniversary, I am really content without children. However, I am going to be 36 this summer and don't want to look back in a few years and have regrets. We are SO back and forth and it's very confusing

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DH and I are the same way. We go back and forth so much about TTC. My biological clock ticks every now and again, but it's not consistent and quite frankly, we're very content the way our life is right now without children. I don't want to have any regrets either way!

 
Posted 3/9/09 3:55 PM

I dont think that I will be unfufilled if we do not have kids.
I actually feel like I we will have richer lives with out children.

I have no desire to do some of the helicopter parenting that I see now a days. I also have no desire to live my life as someones mommy. and that is it.....i mean why do ppl have to lose their idenity when they have children - it drives me crazy.

is it selfish to want to maintain an identity?

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Posted by irishbaby



also have no desire to live my life as someones mommy. and that is it.....i mean why do ppl have to lose their idenity when they have children - it drives me crazy.

is it selfish to want to maintain an identity?

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Out of the two of us, DH is definitely the one that wants to be a parent more than me.

For a long time I went back and forth with the idea of TTC. The more I thought about it, the scarier it seemed to give up my freedom and basically end one life (just DH and I) and begin a new one (baby!). I always felt selfish for feeling that way, since we have so many friends who have kids who would tell us their life didn't begin until they had kids.

When I finally started to let my fears subside a bit and agree to start TTC with DH in January -- we found out that I have some health issues that need to be handled before any baby making can happen. Oddly enough--part of me was disappointed but at the same time a part of me was slightly relieved. Just thinking that makes me feel like a bad person or something! The idea of having a baby freaks me the hell out, and even if we are able to TTC...I think it will still freak me out big time and part of me feels like I'm not being a "real woman" or something.

I'm that cool Auntie right now for my nieces and nephews -- kids are great when they aren't yours.

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Posted by irishbaby
is it selfish to want to maintain an identity?

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One of my big things was "Would I be able to teach another person how to talk, eat, be kind, etc?" That freaked me out.

I alway's felt like i was abnormal because i couldn't have babies because of medical reasons,But i know it's not true but at times i feel like there is a piece of me missing. Dh and I talked and we realize now that were getting older, That we have eachother and that is what matters the most, We are a family but just the two of us.

Message edited 3/9/2009 7:32:30 PM.

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Posted by mrswask
That's how we are - I go so back and forth. As we approach our 5th wedding anniversary, I am really content without children. However, I am going to be 36 this summer and don't want to look back in a few years and have regrets. We are SO back and forth and it's very confusing

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I never wanted children until we couldn't have them....but we're getting over it

I never thought I was missing that "chip" until getting married actually. And that is the time where you are expected to become parents and believe me I am asked ALOT. But as I see my social circle getting smaller and smaller due to alot of them having children, I am becoming completely against children. I feel that at 23 I have really just started living my life and have SOOOO much I want to do with myself and with DH that I will not consider kids at all. Will it change in the future? Quite possibly but I am going to hold it off as long as I can.

I feel the same way!!!

It's not just that I don't want kids.
I don't think I could handle being pregnant.
It's not for me- I don't deal well with Doctor's, hospitals, needles, invasive procedures. I would be worried and stressed the whole time about something being wrong with the baby or somethign being wrong with me.

I also can't handle being uncomfortable, sick, in pain, what have you and from what I read/hear pregnancy is wrought with that from beginning to end.

The thought of me EVER breastfeeding turns my stomach to the point where I can't even think about it.

I have NEVER touched a pregant belly- I would feel weird touching another woman's stomach.

I also think sonogram pictures are gross- and I would NEVER feel comfortable showing the inside of my uterus (even if it had a baby in it)to other people... sorry.

So maybe we are all "missing a chip".
Or maybe it's just not for us...

Message edited 3/10/2009 3:19:57 PM.

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Posted by Ophelia

I think pregnancy is truly heinous.

I am not meant for it.

but I really truly ADORE kids.

so I will suck it up.

but if I could just spring one forth from my head, I would do it in a heartbeat.

there is NOTHING appealing to me about pregnancy...and I feel like I will go to hell for it.

and I feel like I am cursing my unborn child by saying it (though truly, I do not mean to)

I think it's especially awful b/c we have these duling roles for women now.

be hot, sexy, flawless, gorgeous...but then

get fat, get stretch marks, get pregnancy acnes, barf all day, feel like shyte, lose your will to live

so you can become a mother.

and so your husband will never look at you the same.

it sucks.

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Message edited 3/10/2009 3:20:15 PM.

I didn't throw up ONCE while pregnant. But I'm feeling pretty nauseous right NOW.
No children is a fine and noble choice for any who make it; but the bashing of parents/ pregnancy/ women/ and now MEN here is a ***** much IMHO.

Message edited 3/10/2009 3:24:51 PM.