Long Island Forums > Step-parents

This is why I never get to be the fun stepmom!

Posted By Message
lipglossjunky73

Last month I take my stepdaughter to apply to nassau community. She was told when she gets her admission letter, she has to take a placement test before she can apply for spring semester. Which isn't spring At all, its January. Meantime, she was supposed to find a job. She lives with her mom who is At work all day. So far, SD has had no responses and is not doing anything else about finding a job. This morning I was asking dh about this. He said he keeps asking her abt a job but she is still hanging around... Then he mentions that she never scheduled her placement test! So I call nassau, get info about the test, and call her. I tell her I can take her for the test on Tuesday. Then she tells me she never got an admission letter! So back on the phone I go, doing a wild goose chase tracking down a human being to speak with. Finally get one, and she was awesome, I have to say. It turns out SD filled out her graduation date as 2008-09 for some reason, which was wrong, so they thought she was applying for September 09!!!!! I straightened that put, got an I'd number. Now I have to make sure SD has a picture ID and make sure her mom gets the number for financial aid and actually goes there with her to fill out the paperwork because that's the one thing I can't do. I'm so worried she won't do it and SD will continue to do nothing everyday. I wish I could be the fun, young stepmother. I really do. But I never get to be because no one else is taking any initiative. Including her, I know, but if her parents don't do anything then what is she going to do with herself? So pain in the A s s Liza

 
Posted 12/5/08 3:14 PM
lipglossjunky73

Woops, I'm venting on my BlackBerry and screwed up. I just wanted to vent that again pain in the a s s Liza has to step up to the plate.....

 
Posted 12/5/08 3:18 PM
Lucky2008

You are wonderful for taking the initiative to do this...but it must be so frustrating that she has 2 parents that should be doing this plus...if she is applying to college then she must be at least 18 years old...so old enough to take the initiative on her own. I give you Chat Icon for helping her out and caring enough to make a difference in her life...because it is easy to say "if her parents don't then why should I?"

 
Posted 12/5/08 3:26 PM
1stimemom


Posted by Lucky2008

You are wonderful for taking the initiative to do this...but it must be so frustrating that she has 2 parents that should be doing this plus...if she is applying to college then she must be at least 18 years old...so old enough to take the initiative on her own. I give you Chat Icon for helping her out and caring enough to make a difference in her life...because it is easy to say "if her parents don't then why should I?"



I agree 100%!! Why isn't she doing this for herself? Not that I can judge, my SS is 18 and a high shool drop outChat Icon many Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon for you to be taking the initiative! Folow up with Sd and even i\f she doesn't get in ths time, fall 09 is ok, as long as she goes! I know what you mean as far as being the "fun" step mom. It never works out for me eitherChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

 
Posted 12/5/08 5:14 PM
Bops

Many kudo's to you for being such a positive role model to your SD !!!...She will eventually see and appreciate all of your efforts, as frusturating as it may beChat Icon

 
Posted 12/5/08 7:25 PM
lipglossjunky73

Thanks ladies! She skipped a year when she was little so is only 17. Just because no one is guiding her doesn't mean she should flounder. She just doesn't know any better....

 
Posted 12/5/08 10:31 PM
gpsyeyes


Posted by lipglossjunky73

Thanks ladies! She skipped a year when she was little so is only 17. Just because no one is guiding her doesn't mean she should flounder. She just doesn't know any better....



ITA! I don't know why it is expected that when a child turns 18 they are considered an adult and they are left to fend for themselves! 18 is not a magic number that changes everything - yes, legally, there are some things that change, but in general, they still need our guidance and support. In fact, in NY parents are responsible for some aspects of their children until they are 21!

 
Posted 12/6/08 12:48 PM
LIPrincess

I give you a lot of credit. You are truly a wonderul person for doing this.

 
Posted 12/6/08 6:04 PM
cantbelieveit

I am sure it must be soooo frustrating. I do think it is wonderful that she has you there to help her and if she doesn't know it now, she will thank you for it later. It sure isn't easy. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

 
Posted 12/6/08 11:16 PM
Dani10

She will thank you for all you are doing later in life.

 
Posted 12/7/08 4:05 PM