Where to Start?

My older son is extremely bright. He spoke early and is very advanced.

I noticed early on that my younger son was not developing at the same pace as his brother had. Everyone - from my mother to the daycare workers to my friends to my pediatrician - kept telling me not to worry because Robbie had set a very high bar and that Noah was completely normal in all respects.

Well - I am still not so sure. And I hate to seem anxious - but I guess I just don't know what a 'typically developing' 5 year old is supposed to be like.

What I do notice is that Noah is a perfectionist. He gets angry and frustrated if his pants don't fall exactly where he expects and wants - or if his shirt cuffs don't come to the right part on his arms - or if his collar is a smidge too close or a hairs breadth to loose. He has thrown tantrums from losing tic-tac-toe or from not getting the computer mouse to line up exactly the right way. He will crumple up a drawing because he made a tiny line that he didn't intend. He will have a total meltdown if he is made to do something that he doesn't want to do.

His teacher mentioned today that Noah ALSO has difficulty processing multi-part directives. If you ask him to get a piece of paper - no problem. If you ask him to get a piece of paper, draw a blue circle and write his name inside of the circle... he gets lost somewhere in the process. She mentioned that he potentially had some attention challenges and I asked if she was talking about ADD or ADHD. She didn't say that it would be worthless to check it out.

So... where do I start? Who do I go to about these issues? Who would be able to help me evaluate my son and his abilities?

You can start one of 2 ways. you can request an evaluation from the school district. Talk to his teacher about your concerns and see if he/she agrees that an eval is a good idea. they'll set you up with the school psychologist and go to committee to set up evaluations.

Or you can persue an evaluation on your own privately. Both Schneider's and the Cody Center through Stony Brook have very good programs.

Good Luck!