SD Vent

VERY frustrating. UNfortunately, I know exactly what you are going through

I knew you ladies would understand, that is why I was able to vent here. My family tries to be supportive but they also have never experienced it before, so it is hard for them.

I'm glad we have a place to speak about these issues also-
Sometimes it feels like your building a sand castle and just as you start to make a little progress- a tidal wave (BM) comes and knocks it down and you're left with nothing but frusturation, and have to try to build it all over again, only to know the next wave will be here before you know it ....

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Posted by Bops

I'm glad we have a place to speak about these issues also-
Sometimes it feels like your building a sand castle and just as you start to make a little progress- a tidal wave (BM) comes and knocks it down and you're left with nothing but frusturation, and have to try to build it all over again, only to know the next wave will be here before you know it ....

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Ladies, thanks for all the advice, I am going to tell DH to give it another try to see what we can do I am sure he will say he is going to give her time but I will put it out there to him.

i'm so sorry you're going through this. my one sd who is 15 hasn't really been over for about 3 years now. she stopped coming over when we got married. she stops by but doesn't stay. she doesn't like our rules and she refuses to follow them. but you have to remember that you can't force her to come because she'll just make yours and dh's lives more miserable. one day your sd will realize what is really going on and she'll regret the time she didn't spend over at your place. unfortunately the time will be lost good luck to you and don't let it get you down. i was a nasty teenager to my parents also except i didn't have a devil in my ear telling me bad things about my daddy.

I understand what goes on, but what, in our situation, that worked, was to keep going back to court. The kids needed to see that we really did care and not, as their mom told them that dad moved on when he remarried. They thought that when they didn't come to see us it was because he didn't want to, not because their mom was interfering. I just beleive you have to fight and when you can show that the best interests of the child is not being met because one parent does not see them, that maybe a change in custody is what is needed. I think that many men do not fight for custody and I know it is a hard fight & it takes time and money, but the outcome is worth it. Just because your the mom doesn't mean your a better parent & the dads need to have real documentation as to what goes on & custody changes & modifications do happen. Sometimes you do have to "force" your children to do what you want. For example, if it were not for the divorce & you wanted your teenager to go to a family event or something & they didn't want to go, wouldn't you make them go anyway? There are some things they may not like to do, but have to & eventually, they will accept it and maybe even enjoy themselves. I know I'm in the minority opinion here, but I've been through it too and our outcome was well worth the fight for our children.