Working Mom vs Stay at Home mom
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| tourist |
I think DH would love to do that. Well, maybe not in the beginning, b/c he is terrified of infants, but as it is he is the better homemaker. I have a much longer commute, so he is used to doing the laundry & grocery shopping, sometimes starts dinner & always cleans the kitchen. I worked with soemone who did that. His wife is an artistic designer for movie , so her schedule is erratic , but she makes good money, so he satyed home for 2 or 3 years, then started here part time & then full time. Posted 7/26/05 3:23 PM |
| dooodles |
I would love for one of us to be able to stay home (we discussed this a few months ago). But financially we wouldn't be able to do that Posted 7/26/05 3:39 PM |
| Ambersmom |
I get alot of that crap too from people (friends as well as strangers). Like I want to leave my kid day and night so that I can work?? Well guess what, if I didn't, we'd have no place to live, food on the table or benefits. In today's economy, what is the choice?? It makes me so angry that the friends who do NOTHING all day (don't clean their houses, cook their husbands dinner and don't really care for their kids) are the one's who are saying these things to me. Posted 7/26/05 4:27 PM |
| casey31 |
I wish, when the time comes, I could be a SAHM. I know it is HARD work but I'd rather work hard for my baby and my home then for a company! Posted 7/26/05 5:00 PM |
| Niecey |
I am a working mom - for the most part by choice. I do get comments and it is mostly from very traditional woman. Itis annoying and I wish people could just respect my decision. I do work from home and what I hate even more is the comment - oh it is so gerat you work parttime and people asking me to do stuff on days I work from home....they are like you are home - hello - I am working fulltime and 2 days a week I am working 2 jobs at once and it is stressfull but yet I am greatful for this opp - just cutting my commute alone is such a savings to have more time with my baby! Like others above, in my career path it may be tough for me to get back in and make it where I would have always hoped to be....so I am afraid to leave for awhile. I may change my goals or mind in years to come but right now I have a decent deal. Posted 7/27/05 7:47 AM |
| justme1 |
I agree with all the other SAHM's. I too am one with 2 small children and its WORK!! Posted 7/27/05 10:05 AM |
| JenniferEver |
There are always going to be people out there who think hey did it the "right" way. My mom was a SAHM, and she worked SO hard. Others in her family worked and left the kids with grandma or a babysitter. They criticize my mom for not working all of those years, but I don't think it's so great to have your kids in daycare either. There are ups and downs to either one, neither is an ideal situation (unless hubby makes a lot of money..hehe). I think I want to be a SAHM at least while the kids are young. I don't want to miss first words and first steps and have them raised by someone else. Ideally I'd like to have a part time job, maybe work one or two days a week and in that time my mom will watch them for a few hours, but most of the time I'll be with them. That's just what I want. Some people think it's more important to go to work and ahve the money to give tyour kids vacations and toys and everything else they"need" I just think they need their mother more. But a lot has to do with how you grew up. I grew up with a SAHM and we didn't have much money, but I would never have traded it for the world and I know my mom wouldn't have either. I never ONCE in my entire life had a babysitter or any kind, and I always with family and not strangers. I think that's ideal and that's what I want to give my children. Ideally I'd like to be able to give them the material things they want and need too, so that's why I'll try to save money before I have kids and support FH in his career. He already makes more $$ than my dad ever did, so hopefully by the time we have kids, he'll be making more than enough money to support us all! I do want a career though. I don't think I'd feel fulfilled only staying home forever. Once the kids are in school, I'm definitely going to get back out there and start working. Posted 7/27/05 12:38 PM |
| boosh1002 |
I would love to be a SAHM, but I dont think its going to be possible, we have too many expenses.. mortgages, car payments, etc.. If anything, we will see if I can swing the PT thing. Posted 7/27/05 12:47 PM |
| hazeleyes33 |
I don't want to start anything because I am sure your dh is a really great guy but I just don't think it is right for a father to have to work 2 and 3 jobs, never see their wives and children so their wife can be a SAHM. It makes NO sense to me. These men are killing themselves. I hear many times that these men are working 12 or more hours a day so their wives can stay home. WHY?? Don't men need to have a relationship with their children too?? Why are the moms the only one who are supposed to be with the kids. What if a woman said she worked 12 or more hours a day or 2 or 3 jobs so the dad can stay home? You KNOW she would be looked down upon. I am a working mom of 2 because of financial reasons. My ideal would be a pt job but since I have the insurance, it is not possible now. I have a stressful job and HORRIBLE boss so staying home is wonderful than some days at work. I NEVER sit down though at home because there is always something to do but because my children are 5 years apart, I do get breaks when I am home. SAHM's have the flexibility of doing things that WOHM's don't have. I can't get up and go to the park in the middle of the day if I wanted to. I think that is the "easier" part of staying at home. Also, sorry to keep going on, the "income" of a SAHM. Welll...I do all the same things as a SAHM AND work a FT job, shouldn't I get THAT pay and my salary from work??!! I have holidays, vacation, sick, personal, 1/2 days, weekends, etc. with my children. I don't leave them 365 days a year. Posted 7/27/05 8:21 PM |
| christy |
I do not have children yet, so I have no idea how I will really feel when the time comes. However, right now I think I would like to stay home 1-2 years (which my job would allow). Then I would return to my teaching position. If I can afford to do this it would be great. I cant imagine giving up my career forever, but a year or two would be great. We dont have anyone in our family that could help us take care of a baby so it would have to be me. I have no idea if we will be able to afford this when the time comes. Dh has made many comments that he would LOVE to be a SAHF. I dont know if he truly realizes what it would entail, but it is sweet that he says it and means it. I guess we'll see. Posted 7/27/05 8:31 PM |
| dm24angel |
I would love to be a SAHM, wont be though, but may work P/T instead...we think we may be able to afford that. Posted 7/27/05 8:43 PM |
| hazeleyes33 |
I agree with your last quote, while it is hard to stay at home and take care of children, not EVERYDAY is hard. I totally understand if you have tons of kids-lol! or 2 or more that are VERY young BUT, I just don't understand women who have school-aged children who complain it is hard and then don't have an emmaculate house or dinner on the table for their family. What do they do ALL day?? You have over 6 hours a day to YOURSELF!! I have the same responsibilities of home as a SAHM but have to do everything either at night (when I am exhausted from working all day and the pressure of my boss) or on the weekend when I want to spend that time with my family. Posted 7/27/05 8:56 PM |
| justme1 |
Well I can tell you how my day goes. Message edited 7/27/2005 10:50:03 PM. Posted 7/27/05 9:19 PM |
| JenniferEver |
Wow. What an increidbly full day! Posted 7/27/05 9:34 PM |
| nov04libride |
Wow, that does sound busy. I can't imagine doing all the laundry/cleaning/cooking/doctor appts while working full time. Posted 7/27/05 10:09 PM |
| MrsERod |
wow...we lead very similar lives..lol - except in my case i have a 12 year old daughter (who is basically self sufficient) but DOES add to the mess sometimes!! and is also a GREAT help..  AND a 2 year old daughter as well (enough said LOL) also, i just started working (sometimes from home) and its very difficult to juggle all of the above, AND have clients calling you at the same time!!!  by 10:00 i'm EXHAUSTED!!! 
Message edited 7/27/2005 10:22:08 PM. Posted 7/27/05 10:21 PM |
| jillybean66 |
My DH stays home with our baby - I made more $ and had better benefits, etc., so it had to be that way. THis is fine with me since I do not want to be a SAHM. I know what hard work it is to stay home and take care of kids...but DH is having no problem with it. We do not do loads of laundry each day - I don't know how it is possible to generate that much laundry!!! We do laundry once per week, food shop once per week (together on the weekend usually). DH cleans up the house daily, but it does not take him that long....most of his time is spent playing with the baby (and trust me he gets in some good tv time!). He can get things done when the baby naps. My friends and relatives who stay home with their kids always seem to be complaining about all of the work it is, etc. I don't know why, but to DH and I, it is not bad at all....Although I am sure it gets much harder when you add a second child to the mix! Posted 7/28/05 11:20 AM |
| justme1 |
Yea, with my first son It wasnt as stressful. Posted 7/28/05 11:40 AM |
| FelAndJon |
My sister just became a SAHM and she hates it! She used to work for my dad (family business that just went under) and never even took maternity leave. In fact, she was working from home the day after she gave birth both times! She also had the luxury to bring both kids to work with her when they were babies (she had a nanny to keep an eye on them while she did work). Posted 7/28/05 12:13 PM |
| paulandles912 |
If my DH had medical benefits, I probably would have been a SAHM, at least while Andrew is so little. But DH's work is 100% commission, no benefits. He is a SAHD and does his real estate deals when he can. So far its been working out OK. Posted 7/29/05 1:19 PM |
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It's such a full day without having another job from 9-5. I know some nights and weekends now it seems like all I do is clean/laundry/food shop, and we don't even have a baby to take care of (though I do go to school full time and work full time).