Just a short vent....

tonight my dh asked me to hold off on buying the tv stand and matching shelving unit for our livingroom until after the holidays. Silly me said yes thinking it was because the holidays are coming up, but it wasn't. It seems that he wants to see his daughter for this christmas especially since his daughters b-day is right after and may have to pay for the place ticket. Now I ask I make the same amt of money why do I do without. Also, we spent money on an atty to write up an agreement and file it with the divorce papers saying she had to pay for two tickets a year one being for the holidays. I am not going to fight over this its not worth it, but boy do I wish he would grow a pair.

I will tell you that separate bank accounts is looking better and better.

Vent over, thank you.

I can truly understand your frustration. You PAID an attorney to write up an agreement for this very reason! Did you mention that to DH?

for you!

Maybe you should look into a seperate account. My DH and I have our joint account, which most of our money goes into, and then we each have our own "personal" accounts, that way we have some money that we can do whatever we want with.

I did mention that to dh and he said he wanted to see his daughter, and I fully understand.

As for the separate accounts we tried that when we first got married because I thought this might happen, but he was always short for the mtge, car payment, etc and I ended up making up the difference anyway so it didn't work.

But BM is violating an agreement. She's supposed to pay for two tickets a year and she's not! You have to be able to do something about that!

Its not that we can't ... he won't.

I'm glad you aren't fighting DH over this, somethings just are not worth the fight. It would be nice if BM followed the agreement, but divorce and child-custody isn't always pretty; the most important thing really is the child.

Sometimes we just have to take it in stride, vent it out like you've done and just move on for the benefit of the child.

I don't always agree with or like how things are handled with DH and BM, but for the most part we have a great relationship with her. We won't see SS this Christmas because she is sending him to visit her Mom in Washington, I am also expecting and due at Christmas time. At first I was really upset that SS would not be her for the birth of his new brother/sister, but he is very excited to see his Grandmother who he only sees every two years, so I let it go. My SIL and her EX on the other hand have an awful relationship, they constantly fight over every little piece of the court agreement, they NEVER trade dates (her son was not at our wedding because of this) basically everything is a fight. Her son is really suffereing because of this, sometimes I just want to get her and her EX together and smack them both so maybe they will see what they are doing to their son.

It is terrible that some of these biomoms act like this (mine included). I understand your frustration 1000% It is so rough and at times it is hard not to get resentful. You could always start stashing a bit here and there for times like this - it willmake you feel a bit better and you will have the $$ to do what you want sometimes.