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Are We Having Fun Yet: Why Couples “Lose” Their “Desire”

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

It’s a topic that ranged from taboo, to a subject that apparently is on most everybody’s mind, and according to experts, at the core of most successful marriages/relationship.

We’ve talking about sex and intimacy, and professionals point out that sex is not a “four-letter” word anymore.

In fact, some suggest that sex may even have obvious psychological and physical benefits including boosting your immune system, lowering stress levels, and helping you live longer.

But, most couples are still “mystified” by sex and how to achieve a happy, healthy, sexual relationship while pleasing both themselves and their partner. And, it seems everyone is comparing them to the Hollywood stats and worrying about what the Joneses or Joli-Pitts are doing.

Yet, experts say there’s really nothing mysterious about physical intimacy and they set out to set the record straight. Here are just a few insights they want you to know.

1. Sex is good for you. Experts suggest that sex offers excellent aerobic and cardio benefits, strengthening your heart. And, they even add that for women who don’t have a satisfying sex life, it may be putting you at increased risk for heart ailments and disease.

2. Most of us are NOT having gratifying “relationships, at least not sexually. Statistics show that almost 50 percent of women and just a little over 30 percent of men report dissatisfaction with their sex life. The key culprit, they say, is lack of (healthy, open and honest) communication.

3. A remedy for a boring “bedroom” is taking time out to encourage sex. Couples, note experts, need to rekindle the flame and the excitement the felt before they got all serious, moved in together and/or got married. It’s imperative, note professionals that couples continue to have fun, and part of that is liking each other and breaking away from routine to go out, just the two, and enjoying some of the things they use to.

4. Another culprit is “drugs” rather than hugs. According to experts many medications including birth control pills may lower libido. And they add so do many medical conditions such as depression, cardiovascular disease or diabetes. However, treatment in many cases they note is better than suffering (from the illness that is).

5. Timing is of the essence. Sex experts suggest that couples often don’t enjoy intimacy because both partners are on different timetables. Guys are all about setting the “best record” while women are just getting warmed up in the same amount of time. Experts want couples to know that for women, foreplay is ESSENTIAL, and the longer a woman is in a relationship, the longer it takes for arousal. Another factor, experts suggest is that guys simply don’t know how to arouse their woman. Most men falsely believe that penetration is the key to “success”, when, in reality, note experts, it’s clitoral stimulation.


Long Island Relationship Articles > Are We Having Fun Yet: Why Couples “Lose” Their “Desire”

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