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Parked In Neutral: When You’re Simply Not Interested In Sex

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

This may seem somewhat “unusual” it’s more common than you think. What am I talking about? A loss of interest in sex….and not hers, yours/his. Impossible is probably the first thought that crosses your mind, but experts asserts that it may be improbable, but NOT impossible. In fact, a diminished sex drive can strike at any age (whether you’re married, in a serious relationship or not), but does tend to be more common among the more “mature” crowd, also more often “plagued” with obligations and responsibilities.

Among the causes, as per the experts:

1. Psychological influences including pent up emotions such as child abuse, depression, or relationship issues.

2. Physical influences including a decrease in testosterone or side effects from medications such as antidepressants or those that control blood pressure.


Men with a diminished sex drive generally think about sex less often and are also less interested any or all acts associated with sex. According to experts, his lack of desire generally has little to do with his interest in his partner and definitely does not affect his physical ability to have relations. Also, they note, that while this is NOT a life threatening condition, it may be quite problematic, especially if it is adversely affecting his psyche and spirit, his partner, and/or the relationship.

A lower libido is also not a permanent condition and is very often treatable. According to professionals, if the condition is a direct response to essential medications, the solution may be as simple as confiding in and consulting with your physician and asking him/her for a substitute or alternative.

If however, symptoms are brought on by low testosterone levels, experts suggest looking into testosterone replacement therapy. Your health care practioner can conduct a relatively simple blood test to determine if this is the cause and then prescribe the best course of treatment for you. Among those, experts note the following:

· Capsules: As a general rule, these are taken one or twice a day, along with food. While a very convenient form of treatment for many, experts suggest that those taking this form of therapy getting their liver function tested regularly and to schedule periodic follow up visits with their health care practioner.

· Gels: A quick and easy solution, most require once a day application. Men using gels are advised to wait several minutes (for the gel to dry) prior to getting dressed and at least five to six hours before showering or bathing. The treated area should remain clean and covered and men should avoid skin-to-skin contact with their spouses and children (the gel may cause them to develop male features such as lower voices or facial hair over time) In cast contact occurs, professionals suggest immediately washing the affected area with soap and water.

· Injections: Similar to allergy shots, they are rendered approximately every three to four weeks and usually at a doctor’s office or clinic. Although this form of treatment is ideal for men who want or need consistent monitoring and contact with their doctor, the shots may cause mood swings due to the increased levels of the hormone testosterone, especially as levels peak and drop after and before the initial (weekly) injection.

· Patches: Geared toward men with perhaps more active lifestyles, this method of treatment is yet another alternative for testosterone replacement. The testosterone patch is generally applied once daily (to the back, stomach, upper arms, or thighs) and can conveniently be worn during regular exercise routines and routine activities such as swimming biking, showering, etc. Professionals recommend applying a topical corticosteroid cream (which can be purchased sans prescription from your local pharmacy) prior to putting on the patch to prevent skin irritation.

While treatment may appear relatively “simple”, experts note that testosterone replacement may not be right for everyone. All forms of this hormone treatment are associated with some form of risk. Among these, acne, reduced sperm production, fluid retention, and stimulation of prostate growth. Thus they suggest discussing the pros, cons and potential benefits with your doctor before making a decision.

Experts also note, that as far as other advertised and well publicized medications, there is little benefits to men with a low sex drive. They note, that those drugs are geared toward men who maintain an interest in sex, but experience difficulty in achieving an erection. Taking those medications has NOTHING to do with enhancing sex drive, especially if it’s just not there.

If the cause is psychological, you (and your partner) may want to consider counseling. But first, professionals suggest speaking to your doctor and pinpointing the cause

Long Island Relationship Articles > Parked In Neutral: When You’re Simply Not Interested In Sex

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