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Love Stinks: Surviving Another Valentine’s Day

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

Like every other holiday that’s been over-commercialized, Valentine’s Day is quickly making its way to the top of the list. But, for those of you who have your heart set on celebrating this annual holiday of the heart, you may find yourself asking, “what’s wrong with setting aside a special day for those you love.

In theory, “Nothing”, in fact, spending quality time with our loved ones SHOULD be something we do (hopefully more than once a year), but in reality, experts say, there could be lots wrong with this romantic holiday.

Let’s start with the obvious. It suggests that this is a “special” day for love and acceptance of our mate. Uh hello, isn’t that what relationships are all about anyway. Secondly, they put un-necessary pressure on singles and unrealistic expectations on couples.

Singles, no doubt feel “singled out” and couples may experience a bit of “performance” pressure, judging the day, the relationship and each other on well they met or exceeded each other’s expectations and how much they “out-performed” other couples, making the festivities more of an obligation than a welcome expression of love.

And, according to the experts, while this holiday may be good for your “ego”, your jewelry collection, and your heart, it may be harmful to your relationship.

The Root Of The Problem Stems From Here: If the relationship is already a good one, than ANY opportunity is a good one to celebrate. However, if you’re union is on shaky ground, no amount of roses (or lavish gifts) can safe it. Sure, you’ll feel better for the moment, but how will you feel when the “fantasy” is over and things go back to normal in the morning. Plus, note experts, Valentine’s Day just may be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, especially if your partner/mate fails to live up to your expectations.

Money Can Buy Me Love: Lots of couples expect a night of passion and romance. From elaborate dinners replete with decadent desserts and dazzling diamonds, to a nightcap complete with alluring lingerie, and lascivious lovemaking, each partner has his or her “price” on happiness and how the evening and the relationship is going.

While experts assert that there is nothing wrong with making the day “memorable”, that doesn’t always mean expecting something extraordinary or that much out of the ordinary. In fact, experts add that you should simply learn to appreciate and be happy about spending some “quality” time with your mate.

And, while it’s no doubt easy to get caught up in the “fan fare” and “fantasy”, it’s imperative (to your enjoyment) that you don’t allow it to affect you.

Taking The Tradition Label Off Love: Valentine’s Day is supposed to celebrate love and not only lovers. Yet, society has encroached upon us the idea of a couple’s celebration, which may complicate relationships with your single, family members and friends.

With that said, experts suggest making Valentine’s day a day of real love (not lust) and making it a celebration of all your fulfilling relationships. Cook a special dinner for your family or decide to enjoy a night out. Have a bevy of pals over for some fondue and fun do. Gather a group at a local restaurant and celebrate each other, or host a meet and greet for your single pals (but don’t forget to invite other couples as well). Or, give the ultimate gift of love by volunteering your time to bring some joy to those in hospices, shelters, etc

Long Island Relationship Articles > Love Stinks: Surviving Another Valentine’s Day

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