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Man-Dates: Simple Steps To Help Even The Most “Average” Joe Become a Dating Dynamo:

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

When it comes to dating it would seem like women would have the upper hand. With a drove of designs to hide a multitude of “sins”, a few aptly enhanced and accentuated assets, and some make-up magic (and the “proper”) date-time lighting, women can easily make themselves more desirable.

Men on the other hand seem to be required to be “naturals” at attracting women. They must either be “naturally” built and good-looking or “naturally” well off. That’s not entirely true. Most women realize that guys are typically visual, hence our “external” efforts. We however realize that beauty is only skin deep and that money (while no doubt helps) ISN’T everything….after all a wealthy “jerk” is still, well, a jerk.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard men confess that they are still single because they lack the confidence to approach the women they are attracted to. Whether they are CEOs or UPS drivers, they seem to feel they are not “good” enough for the women they find appealing.

Good news guys, women are more realistic than your realize. While they may outwardly ogle at outward appearance, they secretly yearn for someone, who as cliché as it may sound, is beautiful on the inside. Someone with a huge (stop smirking) heart, and who IS good (and that often includes, good ole’ fashioned morals), and not only looks good are among the key criteria. So, what other things do women want in a man? A few “tricks of the trade” to ensure success with the opposite sex.

1. Be a leading man: Confidence not cockiness is sexy. In fact, according to studies, self-assurance and the ability to know what you want and NOT being afraid of taking “risks” and going after what you want is much more attractive than considerable cash, fabulous features and a buff bod. If you want to get a woman’s attention, take the initiative in wooing and pursuing her. Send over a drink, flowers to her office, surprise her by showing up for lunch….all the little things that let her know you’re interested.

2. Take affirmative action: Remember that when you smile, the whole world smiles with you. Be happy, upbeat and positive. Of course you’re encouraged to express and share your emotions (even your negative ones)….but maintaining a generally positive outlook and attitude are a plus.

3. Tickle her fancy: Make her smile. In fact, while you’re at it, make her laugh. Don’t be afraid to have fun and be funny. It may be true that women don’t want a man who is silly and “immature” (all the time), but they DO want someone who is amusing, and entertaining.

4. Eat, drink and make merry: Show her a good time. You don’t have to feast at the fanciest establishments, but brushing up on some local (and not so “local”) trendy tavernas and hot spots is always a good idea. Don’t forget to avoid dominating the conversation, taking an interest in what SHE has to say, and laughing (also) at her jokes.

5. Hear her out: Most men pride themselves on their sexual prowess….but before you can get to the point where you can impress her in private you’ll have to impress her in public. Besides being conversational and interesting (to listen to), you’ll need to be an equally good listener. Ask questions about her life and interests, career, family etc.

6. Dress For Success: While gentlemen may prefer blondes, it’s practical to remember that: “every girl’s crazy about a sharp dressed man”. Unless you meet at the gym, you don’t want to show up sweaty and slovenly. Just keep in mind how much time and money women devote to appearance and shopping. You may be comfortable in ratty old jeans and a T-shirt, but she may not be so comfortable with that image. While you don’t want to compromise “who” you are, you should be willing to embellish on your style. Understand what is fashionable and what suits your personal image and body type. And, if you don’t know what colors, styles or “trends” look good on you ask a female friend or a reputable sales clerk.

7. Stimulate her senses: Okay, so now that you look good, you may want to think about some common scents. While you don’t want to necessarily smell like dear ole’ dad, you do want to smell fresh and clean. If you don’t know what her favorite cologne is, consider instead lots of fragrantly “earthy” soap and deodorant.

8. Leave something to the imagination: Keep in mind that women “LOVE” mystery and intrigue, so there’s no need to divulge all there is to know about you immediately, especially when it comes to your finances and well-toned assets. Surely you’ll want to be genuinely generous and show her a good time (frequently at some of the finer, more refined establishments), showing her how savvy and worldly of a gentleman you are. Instead by generous with your heart and emotions. DON’T play games, keep her as part of an entourage of “interests”, take too long with making up your mind (about her or the relationship), and above all make her and her attention and affection a top priority by being readily available to get to know her, and enjoy her and her company. Your willingness to devote time, is the greatest the most extravagant gift you can give.

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