Experts: Kids who rule the roost might not become well-adjusted adults

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Many kids today know they can govern family activities and decisions. Not getting what they want is unfamiliar to them.

The power to control is given to kids by parents with good intentions, but studies show that their children are likely to become self-centered, unpleasant adults who may be unable to make solid relationships or get along with fellow workers.

As teens they are less likely to get along with others or do well in school. They are more likely to use drugs.

Some reasons parents don't impose rules:

* They are afraid to damage his spirit, creativity and self-esteem. The truth: Kids not only need limits, they want them. It makes their world predictable and safe.

* They don't want to see the child unhappy. But one who never experiences adversity or disappointment may be unable to deal with the challenges of adult life.

* They can afford to fulfill every demand and do so. It creates a false sense of entitlement and an inability to delay gratification.

* They don't want to be tyrants. But the child needs a parent, not a buddy.

* They're afraid of losing the child's love. Kids are not so fragile that they can't withstand a request to take out the trash.

Parents can be authoritative while not being authoritarian, a loving combination of warmth, nurturing, and firmness says Dr. Lawrence Steinberg, a psychology professor at Temple University.

To change their style, parents can start with small things. But if a line is crossed, there must be consequences.

When we hand kids too much power, the result is anarchy and chaos in our homes.