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Fire And Ice: Keeping Friendships And Relationships Hot During The Cold.

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

After a long day at the office or a long week of work (either at the office or at home) most of us are itching to go out and do something exciting. From things we enjoyed as kids, tweens and teens to adventures we have yet to discover, our wanderlust never ceases to get the best of us. Yet for many a dreary, cold, blustery winter day, or several months for that matter is more of an incentive to stay put, than putting up with the elements. And, while no one is suggesting that we use the weather as an excuse to stop living or enjoying life outside our home and hearth, experts agree that home is often where the heart is.

In fact, while no doubt the warmer temps lend to exciting outdoor excursions and experiences, the cooler days and biting nights are considered ideal for helping friends, family and lovers build the foundation essential to all (most) healthy relationship. Experts add that “warmth” is among the most fundamental tools for drawing people together and building solid connections. Gathering for food, fun, conversation and frequently holiday traditions helps us show those we love appreciation and thoughtfulness as it “forces” us to spend TIME with then, merely enjoying their company, and making memories. Beyond the fancy restaurants, hotel rooms, and action-packed days and nights that keep us moving and grooving and often sending us in different directions, each individual or family trying to capture a bit of their own excitement, gathering the gang for some “intimate” interaction is essential for fostering good communication, and feelings as it helps to convey goodwill and a sense of belonging and acceptance for the giver as well as the receiver. Professionals point out a few ideal ideas for keeping those we love close relationships “hot and spicy” all winter and year long.

1. Get Warm and Cozy: The most important thing to remember in any relationship is that actions speak louder than words. Make friends and loved ones feel welcome by getting warm and cozy with them. From embellishing your home with all the comforts of a “rich” (not meaning costly) home environment, to renting a few good movies, and inviting a few good friends or family over for some hot cocoa and a board game, or simply breaking out the blankie, and huddling up with your honey and/or kids, it’s all part of drawing people close to you and each other. Remember, the efforts you put into a relationship, are likely the same ones you’ll get out of it.

2. Be Full Of Friendly Surprises: Remember that most of us have an innate need to belong, and feel like we fit in and are cared about. It’s hard to feel that way, when we feel forgotten. Sure it’s easy to get caught up in everyday life say experts, from jobs to homes, husbands (or wives) and kids, we barely have time for ourselves, never mind others in our lives. Yet, they note, we often have only ourselves to blame for literally pushing others out of our lives. Simple things such as an awaiting email at the office, a phone call out of the blue, stopping by the office for a quick lunch, or a weekly invite to have dinner or drinks or watch the game can often be enough to keep others feeling connected. Remember, having friends (and relations) often means first knowing how to be one.

3. Work At Getting Rid Of The Me Mentality: From co-workers to organizations to our own families, these are the best connections we have for associating with others. But, we often forget that others have needs to. If we want our relationships (especially in the winter when people are less inclined to do things) to heat up or at least stay at a “temperature” that’s comfortably warm, we need to make others (and not always ourselves) a priority. Start thinking not only about, but also like those you want to continue a healthy relationship with. If your friend is “sick” and can’t make it out, why not whip up some homemade soup and drop on by. Maybe he or she invites you on a ski weekend. Okay, so maybe it’s not your cup of tea or hot cocoa, but think about how rejecting his or her invitations (especially if it’s not the first time) may affect your relationship. Sure they should understand that you’re simply not one for the cold, but you also should understand that if your friend asked DESPITE knowing that, they may simply want or need your company. Think about how you can go and want you can do to make the trip and the experience more pleasant for you. Remember, the tables may be turned someday, so don’t do unto others what you wouldn’t want them to do unto you.

4. Refamiliarize Yourself With Family: With lots of GREAT excuses ranging from holidays to sports parties, use this special time to pick up the phone more often than you should, send cards that you normally wouldn’t, and invite even those you may have lost touch with over for some food, fun, festivities and bonding. “Warm” behavior, say experts, is reflected in your actions and by how you deal and reason with those closest to you. And, they add, it’s all about sharing and showing that you want to be part of their lives, even when you’re NOT out and around and about the town. Connect by getting together more frequently, reminiscing about old times and making new memories of special times together. And remember, you can’t always expect to be invited if you never do the inviting nor can you expect an outpouring of attendance if you don’t exact the same in return.


Long Island Relationship Articles > Fire And Ice: Keeping Friendships And Relationships Hot During The Cold.

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