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Beating The Odds: How To Rise Above The Tough Times:

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

The saying goes “ When the going gets tough, the tough get going”, but where exactly are they going to? Are they going shopping, to the bar, in separate directions? No one really knows, well, not exactly. But, now experts give us some direction as to where we should be headed depending on where we’re coming from and where we want to go.

· A bump in your marital bliss: While each of you may need time apart, the best way to stay together is to come together to work out your issues, rather than each of you coming to a solution of his or her own. Keep in mind that good communication skills is something we are ALL lacking and that good communication takes time and it means really letting the other person knowing how you feel and what you’re thinking without attacking their feelings or point of view. Last but not least, be clear about what you want, what your need, what you expect, and what each of your roles is; as well as any “exceptions” to the rules. Once you have defined your house rules, it should be easier to live with them.

· Weening kids off the “I Want” wagon: Children aren’t capable of distinguishing between wants and needs. Heck, most adults can’t effectively do it. Still, it’s imperative, even if you can afford to give them all the luxuries their little hearts desire, to teach them the difference between the two. So, when kids start (adamantly) asking, don’t use lack of funds, as your “excuse”, but instead, tell them it’s not in the budget, and teach them about ways to work toward their goal. Plus, it’s a skill they can take with them as they grow, and one that is just as beneficial for you as it is for your kids.

· Reeling in the road rage: There’s hardly anyone who isn’t pertpetually in a rush these days. And, there’s hardly a community that isn’t over-populated and over-crowed with gridlock being a major problem at almost any given time of day. So, besides leaving well in advance, or taking an alternate route, if you can, what can you do when your sitting in traffic seething? From one try to save yourself from getting angry or frustrated since it does nothing except age you and drain you, and ruin the rest of your day. Instead, use the time to dial up your mate, a friend, the kids, mom or dad, listen to the radio, an audio book, or loose yourself in thought…just make sure you never take your focus off the road.

· Greeting unexpected and perhaps uninvited guests: This is one of the major reasons I believe that the house should be and look presentable at all times, at least for the most part. Remember, if you clean it when it’s “clean”, it never gets dirty. But, besides the potential mess you may not be emotionally or physically ready for guests, and your fridge may only feature foods that you and your family feast on. Welcome surprise guests with open arms, but explain that you’re shocked and that your calendar was full since you weren’t notified and that you don’t know if you can spend quality time with them, since you already have other obligation. Let them know how much notice you need next time and why it’s better for everyone overall.

· Dealing with “offensive” office situations: These don’t just have to mean obnoxious co-workers or sexual advances, but can mean coping with an environment you find less than stimulating or dealing with unreasonable requests. Experts suggest initially acknowledging the request, defining the plan you have for getting it done, even if it doesn’t coincide with your boss’s agenda. But, be prepared to defend your method and your position, and be prepared to deliver an amazing end result. Also, don’t be too proud to ask for assistance, it makes otherwise sticky situations a potential win-win.

· Letting go of being in control: Most of us were raised to believe that we could have it all and do it all, and at the same time. Still balancing work, home, family, and self-preservation is a project all its own, and if you’re boss asked you to tackle so many tasks you’d be less than tickled pink. Something’s got to give. You can either opt to give up the career and save of hiring outsiders to do your work for you or, if you’re salary is greater than what you’ll be spending opt out of trying to work two and three jobs all at once. Hire people to take care of your home and do your errands while your focus on your work, at work. It will help you be more productive in both work and play.


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