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Rated X: How To Go From So-So To So Sexy

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By Mia Bolaris-Forget

No matter how much effort we put into ourselves we all have those moments where we feel anything but empowered or sexy. And, hopefully we have friends and family that can ease us if not jolt us out of our rut. And, lots of things can contribute to anyone’s “de-sexualization”. From being unhappy in your personal life, career or both, to feeling the toll of time, responsibility or the pressures of maturity, wifedom and/or motherhood, you may find yourself taking care of everyone and everything but you. And, that certainly won’t do anything (positive) for your self-esteem and appearance But from those former sex goddesses to those wanna be vixens, experts assert that “sexiness” and “sex appeal” are as much a state of mind as the are a matter of your ideal image. And, they claim anyone can learn to be “super sexy”.

1. Convince yourself first The first person that has to feel the positive vibe about you is, well, YOU. Experts suggest starting to think of yourself as sexy and others will follow suit. In fact, they say that it’s among one of the best gifts you can give yourself and one that you deserve, especially as you already make everyone else shine bright. Start by making the improvements you’ve been meaning to make and taking the focus off your flaws. Then begin focusing on and accentuating the positive.

2. Humor Yourself: They say that laughter is the best medicine, and apparently it can do wonders for self image too. According to self-worth and image experts, having a good sense of humor and the ability to laugh at yourself, your faux pas and your flaws can do wonders for your perception and your dispositon curing you of stress all which take away from your appeal and sexiness.

3. Straighten Yourself Out: I know someone, in fact a few people, who lose their outward appeal because of the way they carry themselves. Not only do (some of them) look uncomfortable in public, but also drag their feet and slump when they walk. And, according to experts this is one of the major no-nos. Give yourself some extra confidence simply by holding your head up high and walking tall. You’ll be surprised at how much better you’ll feel and how much more “respect” you’ll get. In fact, standing and walking tall makes you appeal more thinner, more tones and muscular, and that alone will make your feel better about your appearance and yourself.

4. Look On The Bright Side: Remember, every cloud has a silver lining. Just because you don’t feel your best doesn’t mean you can’t look or convey your best with a little effort and a positive attitude. Think about all the energy your expending, if not wasting worrying about the “worst”. Turn your fears and anxiety, which are nothing but negative energy into positive power and unleash it pulling yourself up and out instead of down and out.

5. Embrace Your Imperfections: Keep in mind that we all have flaws and that some flaws can actually be “attractive”. While no one is suggesting that you give up on trying to improve your wardrobe, figure, home, career, health or look, what experts are saying is that some of the less than perfect things that make you, YOU should learn to live with. And, if YOU can like and live with yourself, chances are so can someone else. And, ironically enough, sometimes, it can be those “imperfections” and your ease about them that they become most attracted to.

6. Eye-Catching Appeal: Even if you’re not feeling sexy, you can exude sexiness without saying anything at all. In fact, one of the sexiest things a woman can flash someone is a smile and a come-hither “stare”

7. Shake Baby Shake: A great handshake can reveal a lot about a person and it can be a powerful “platonic” gesture.

Here are a few handshaking pointers:

· Keep your posture straight, make and maintain eye contact.
· Step in toward the person when you shake hands; your grasp should be relaxed but firm.
· Give a confident, sincere shake (about five seconds max), and, especially when in a stressful situation, make sure your palms aren't sweaty (a quick wipe on a cocktail napkin is a good precaution) before offering your hand.
· To be ultra-demure you can turn your palm down and place only your fingers in his hand. Keep your chin down and eyes up.

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